Me and my husband recently moved into a new house that’s way bigger than our old one. Each room has a decent amount closet space, however the master bedroom has 2 walk in closets. One of the walk in closets is about the same size as the other ones (they all have plenty of space for storing clothes). Me and my husband have always had separate rooms, the room he wanted was not the master bedroom (thankfully since it was my dream bedroom). However, he does want one of the closets. I think if anything we should share the bigger closet (each of us would have one side for our clothes, there’s plenty of space) and let me use the smaller one for my collectibles. I feel like it makes sense since his bedroom has a walk in closet thats around the same size as the one I want to use for my collection, that way we’d each have the same clothes storage spot + our own collection closet, but he said since the main closet is so much bigger that I should have that and he can use the closet in his room for his collectibles and the one in my room for clothes. He thinks it’s unfair since I already have the biggest room and bathroom, and that I should at least let him have the extra closet and basically use one side of the big closet for my clothes and the other for my collectibles, but I don’t want them mixed together, I want to design the closet a specific way for them. I also don’t see the difference in him having the 2 small closets vs sharing the big and having his one since he’d be having to come into my room to get dressed either way. He’s been pretty upset about it though and I can’t really ask anyone’s opinion on it since our families don’t know we don’t share a room/bed. So am I justified in thinking it makes sense for me to basically want both closets (but ok with sharing the big one), or aita for not wanting him to have my 2nd closet as his own?
Get real problems.
This should be higher up.
I mean, personally I enjoy getting an occasional break from all the posts about (or from) absurdly self-centered parents, partners, in-laws, friends, and coworkers.
Nah. Why not share the big one for both of your collectibles then clothes can be in his own room
First world problems man. Either solution seems fine. Light ESH for fighting over the massive amount of storage you have — you’ll both have ample room for your stuff either way, who cares?
INFO: What are these collections *of*?
That will impact whether I think giving him the benefit of access to his collection in his own bedroom space (as you will have to your collection regardless of which closet you give up/share) outweighs your 50/50 space approach.
Also, I’m assuming both of the master bedroom closets can only be accessed through the master bedroom, neither is accessible from a hall or anything?
…And yes, I’m also dying to know what collections you have that are (a) large enough to use up an entire closet, and also (b) not intended for general display. 👀
Why do you have to have collectibles in the bedroom closet? Why not find a new space for both of your collectibles?
Maybe set up a 3rd bedroom for both sets of collectibles?
NTA.
There are three closets. The solution is not that he gets two and you get one. The solution is you each get 1.5 closets.
Whether or not you have a private bath or not is irrelevant to the closet issue. Especially because *you don’t have a private room*. He gets his own room, you get your own bathroom. Him in and out of your room means you don’t have a private room.
Honestly I’m sad to hear either your is putting your collectibles in a closet. I know some collections can’t be displayed due to topic/delicacy of objects/etc. But I would actually strongly encourage you both to step back and look at your space again. With the master bedroom, could you devote a whole wall of cases or displays and have your collection out to enjoy? Then you’d have a closet all to your clothes, your partner (with the smaller room) would be able to have a clothes closet and stuff closet.
On the flip side, I know several people who are into fashion and have their *clothes* displayed on racks in their room (almost like a store) and use their closet for storage or collectibles. That might work too.
I also don’t know why you prefer separate rooms—I get it, my ex and I each had our own “bedroom” for space/alone time and slept in the same bed outside of those rooms. But if the reason is (for example) you can’t sleep in the same bed, would it be possible to get two beds in the master and devote the second room to ALL COLLECTIONS?
Ask yourself this — if he was taking the big master bedroom and you were taking the small bedroom, what closet space would want in that scenario?
I’d want the same solution, split the big closet for clothes and each have our own small one for collectibles. I feel like that is the most even and makes the most sense.
ESH Their biggest problem is dedicating 2 walk-in closets to collectibles then sharing 3rd for clothes? The issue is where to store trinkets that no heir will want??? These better be some museum quality / cash value junk that these hoarders want.
While others make do in homes too small for their families (IMHO everyone should have access to 1/2 bedroom 1/2 closet)
Why are you two even married honestly ESH
NAH, but your husband’s point makes more sense.
You already have the biggest bedroom and the attached bathroom. From his perspective, the only extra perk he’s asking for is one of the closets in that space. Wanting something that feels like his own area in the house isn’t unreasonable.
Your idea of sharing the big closet and using the smaller one for your collectibles is logical for organization, but it also means you effectively control both closets in the master bedroom while he only has the one in his room. That can feel uneven, especially since he’s already giving up the larger bedroom.
A compromise might help here. For example, you could share the large closet for clothes and give him the smaller one, while finding another space in the house for your collectibles, or using part of the large closet with a divider or shelving to keep them separate.
The disagreement isn’t really about the closets themselves. It’s about both of you wanting a space that feels fairly divided in a new home. Neither of you is wrong for wanting that.
So wait, he knowingly picked the room with one closet, and now he wants two closets to himself including one of the ones in your room? NTA.