I female (36) went to go out with my partner (38) and our mutual friends. When we went to leave for the first bar my partner told me not to wear my sweatshirt because it was covered in the friend’s dog’s hair. We got to the bar and it was outside on the water and windy so I was freezing. I didn’t say anything but they even commented like oh look at the goosebumps on her arms! Finally when we’re were getting ready to leave they wanted to go to another bar so I said can we please stop at the store down the street so I can buy a sweatshirt. They said something about it being the wrong way (.2 miles away) they said they wanted to go to another bar it shouldn’t be as cold so I just said okay and went. At that bar it was even colder outside no sun at this point. Again I just sat there rubbing my arms but still laughing at their jokes and smiling. Then they wanted to go to a third bar by their house. I said okay but can we stop at your house so I can get my sweatshirt? They again acted like it was too out of the way. At this point it’s been six hours. We get to the next bar and the ac is just blasting. Finally after another two hours my partner could see my face and was like hey let’s go back to the house and drink there. They said wait we want to see if the one friends dad wants to come here and have just one drink. My partner then proceeded to say that’s okay we will just get an uber. They didn’t like that and said fine we will leave. We just wanted to wait ten minutes for him to call back but whatever we will go. Then everyone is silent in the car and the vibes are off. My partner said we will just go home after this. Then when we leave she yells at me in the car saying I ruined the whole day and from now on she’s just gonna hangout with them without me because I’m no fun cause I don’t drink anymore. Almost to the point of berating me because I’m on my own journey of losing weight and seem to have issues with being cold and not wanting to drink. I feel crazy but if any of my friends sad they were cold or uncomfortable I would do whatever needed to be done to make the comfortable but they have me thinking I’m just an inconvenience. AITA?
NTA for wanting to go home because you were cold
NTA. Your partner and friends on the other hand…
NTA you offered multiple solutions that would have allowed you all to keep having a good time and they all shot all of them down.
NTA – but at the first bar, maybe you could have said, “Hey, I’m freezing. I’m going to walk down to the store and buy a sweatshirt. I’ll be back in a bit. That being said, if any of my friends or SO were cold, I’d do what I could to make them comfortable so we could all have a good time.
Good luck on your health journey.
yeah dude. like…if i were the SO or friends i would care more???
You’re 36. Just leave.
Grab an uber say see ya later. Im tired.
NTA. Your SO and \*friends\* appear to be more interested in drinking (really 7 hours!) than in you or your well-being. You might wish to consider reevaluating all these relationships.
You want friends that will lift you up, not berate you for your health journey and success. You are taking better care of yourself physically, perhaps it is time for you to take better care of yourself emotionally.
NTA – but at 36 you could have just went and got something and came back or just left.
I’m also suggesting you find a new SO and friends. It seems this is no longer your scene and they don’t seem to care about you what so ever
NTA. You endured eight hours of physical misery for their sake, and their refusal to make a 0.2 mile detour for your comfort was incredibly selfish. The friend’s outburst proves they value your role as a “drinking buddy” more than your actual well-being or personal growth.
NTA but next time, don’t ask for permission to look out for your health. Real friends will respect that and should want you to be healthy.
Next time just wet your hand and run it over the sweatshirt and it’ll get the hair off
Lost me at “my partner told me not to wear my sweatshirt.”
Don’t you think maybe that’s an unreasonable degree of authority for anyone to have over your personal decision-making?
Ladies is it common to be almost 40 and need your partners permission to not freeze to death