I moved into my girlfriend’s house with her kids about a month and a half ago. We both have some of our own streaming services, and it’s dumb to both be paying for them. She also has a lot of stuff she’s paying for and not using, so last night after dinner, we decided to sit down and cancel the unused and merge the used services.
She cancelled her subscription to a streaming bundle that I have, and we’re moving onto cancelling something else. In the meantime while she was pulling that up, I was like let me just change the password to a common password since I use this same one for a lot of my important stuff like banking etc.
She immediately got defensive, telling me I’m being annoying, asking why I need to change it, etc. I’m explaining to her that it’s a password I use for banking and other things and prefer to just have a common password for the streaming stuff.
She claims that I’m saying I can’t trust her and her kids, starts throwing accusations that I’m suggesting they’d do something nefarious etc, and I’m trying to explain it has nothing to do with that, she’s putting those words into my mouth, and that I feel like this is a pretty normal thing considering it’s a sensitive password that now multiple people will know.
She said if it was a brand new account it would make sense I use a different password but since it already exists, that’s just weird and I’m saying I can’t trust them etc. Meanwhile, this is all happening right in front of her daughter, so I’m doubly uncomfortable.
Keep in mind, I’ve given her my credit card to go off and get gas, she drives my car whenever she wants, etc so claiming I “don’t trust her” is absurd to me. She even said something to the effect of “I somewhat understand because xxx is a teenager, but still”
AITA? This seems like a pretty normal thing to me.
Edit 1: yes I realize it’s dumb to even share pw between websites, even moreso between banking and streaming
YTA stop using the same password for everything, it’s a hacker/scammer’s dream
NTA. Red Flag Parade. You should never have passwords that are common across any two things much less use the same one for banking and a shared streaming account. You don’t need her permission to change the PW. Change the one you use for your banking and email and any other private stuff. Honestly, if she is acting like this over you having good password habits I would say you can not in fact trust her.
NTA But it is incredibly dumb to use the same password across different sites, *especially* sensitive things like banking. That’s how people get hacked.
Nta. When someone goes off the handle like that, it usually means that you hit the nail on the head. Intentionally or otherwise.
NTA
Seems pretty common and wise to change passwords to things now and again just for safety sake all around.
Whatevs you decide for the streaming services…I’d suggest it’s time to change your “important stuff” passwords too. I’m not saying SHE will do anything nefarious but….safety first.
NTA. it’s important to ensure that you don’t use your banking passwords for common devices. It’s obviously not that you don’t trust her daughter but even my freaking dad would change that shit if the password he used for a common account was the same as his banking- it’s basic security.
She wants her kids to have your banking password?
Tell her you have been reading today and reusing passwords for banking is damn stupid (it is) and you need to sort out all your security.
Stuff like banking should have unique stupidly long passwords 20 characters or so. It is safer to use a word document on your desktop with a very long password than a short password not written down.
NTA
But don’t reuse passwords for important stuff! I did in the past. My password was leaked and they got into my reddit account, and a (mostly empty) airline rewards account. But the most annoying thing they did was sign me up to a thousand or so mailing lists to mask their activity.
NTA
My wife and I have access to each other’s passwords, but no one else. Kids? Hell no. Do I think they will do something nefarious? No. But basic security is still basic security.
Whenever you tell someone you are withholding passwords to sensitive information and they say, “Don’t you trust me?” that is an automatic red flag.
Did she really think her teenage kid should have access to your banking information???????
NTA. Please look out for yourself about this one, it’s not a good look for her.
Change the password, make it stupid simple for the common devices.
Then change your financial passwords to something only you understand. Problem solved.
If she beefs beyond that, there’s a HUGE problem. Spoiler alert: it’s her.
Good luck to you.
I’ve been married 23 years. We know all of our financial details, have joint accounts etc. Trust her wholeheartedly, if she took all our assets, the monetary loss would be the least painful aspect.
We share passwords for our phones, streaming services etc.
I don’t know my wife’s banking passwords and she doesn’t know mine.
Change every password except the streaming ones. She has no right to get into your business!
Changing a password because it’s tied to banking isn’t a trust issue, it’s basic digital safety. I mean, you’re not wrong for wanting to separate sensitive logins from shared ones. This really shouldn’t have turned into a fight.