For the past few months, a friend, whom we’ll call Eagle, has become friends with a few girls, but let’s keep the story focused on just two of them (this includes the girl I fell in love at the time). He did this for two reasons:
Eagle didn’t like his current friends and only talks to us either to tease us or to ask for favors that he never reciprocated.
He wanted to show everyone that he knew how to talk to women (he wanted to act badass).
Well, since then Eagle constantly sent me things about them, whether it’s a video call or even screenshots of conversations with them. He knows I don’t have those social skills and that him flirting with the girl I like, whether by text or in front of me, and making sure I know. This really upsets me.
He even started a relationship some time later and did the same thing with her (sending me screenshots of their conversations) (they broke up after a month).
In a way, even though some time has passed and I’m practically not in love anymore with the girl, I still cared about her and didn’t want her to get involved with someone who constantly exposes people info for his own advantage. So I called her and her other friend one at a time and talked to them catefully about him. I explained the whole situation and warned them that they were being exposed and falling for a bad guy’s line.
NTA. He’s treating them badly and you exposed him. He might think you’re TA, but you did those women a solid.
INFO: Ages, please?
Im 20, Eagle and their friend’s are all 19
NTA. If some dude is being a creepy asshole (& I’d argue Eagle was) you’re good for warning the women around you what he’s like when it’s onlmy guys around.
NTA
Sounds like you have the best interests of the people who needed to know what Eagle is like in mind. That was well done, particularly since you did it thoughtfully and carefully.
Eagle is not a friend of yours, and you should take steps to get him out of your life. Block him, whatever you need to do. If he’s gossiping about others, he’s also gossiping about you, and heaven only knows what he’ll say. You need friends like him like a bear needs a toothache.
Please give more context on what snippets of the conversations he was sharing and what for.
Most of the mensagens were they flirting or just talking, then he goes to my dm and start to make fun about them or say that he is “dating” my “girlfriend””
In that case Eagle sounds like a bad person, not just someone you might be envious of.
NTA, should have warned the girls earlier and called him out.
NTA. Eagle’s behavior shows a lack of respect for boundaries and consent. People deserve to know if their private conversations are being shared for clout.
NTA, but you didn’t really do your friends a favor by letting this go on as long as it did.
What Eagle did was a serious breach of privacy and trust. Most people would be horrified to know that private conversations they had with someone they were interested in were being shared without consent.
That behavior is deeply creepy, and while the responsibility is ultimately his, allowing it to continue also put your friends in a vulnerable position.
I’d also gently encourage you to work on asserting yourself. Avoiding conflict is understandable, but conflict doesn’t automatically mean confrontation or violence. Sometimes being a good friend simply means speaking up when you see someone crossing clear boundaries.
NTA. This dude is straight up messy. Sending screenshots of private convos is such a red flag and honestly kinda gross. You didn’t trash him, you warned them about behavior he actually does. That’s on him, not you.