This morning my mom and my step dad took our 3 dogs out for a walk. Usually my sister and me do it on the weekends but this time they wanted to do it.
Normally the walk is about 20-30 minutes long and we get back to the house to give the dogs breakfast. After my parents and my dog’s were away for over an hour I started to worry if something went wrong, neither my mom nor my step-dad took their phones with them and there was no way to contact them.
I went out and started looking for them in all the places I could think of and after half an hour I saw them coming from far away and I went towards them and said "What’s wrong with you?" in an aggressive manner. I know this doesn’t justify speaking to my parents that way but I felt very scared before finding them. Turns out they went to have breakfast with my aunt and that’s why they took so long to come back, they didn’t tell me they’d do that.
Later in the day I had a brief argument with my mom about why I was worried. It’s worth pointing out that in the past one of my dogs briefly snuck out of the house without my parents noticing, thankfully nothing went wrong. Another time my step dad left the house and left the door open and another one of my dogs snuck into my room, again, he didn’t notice that he did that.
In the past my mom has gotten angry with me and my sister for not answering our phones or not letting her know that we’d go away to some place. Not that we couldn’t go out, just that we needed to let her know where we were. So you can imagine why I’m baffled that she’s now upset with me for worrying that she didn’t follow her own rules. Her argument was that her and my step dad are adults and that they weren’t 10 year olds to cause me to be so scared for them being out without their phones.
I explained to her that my worry was not them but things that were out of their control like an accident that could’ve happened to them or something that could’ve scared the dogs away and there was no way for me to know that it happened because they didn’t have their phones.
Lately I’ve realized that I’ve become a bit paranoid but here in Mexico things can get very dangerous out of nowhere very quickly and a thing as simple as a text message letting me know that they’re okay can make me calm.
My mom ridiculed me and told me I exaggerated things but the terror that I felt not knowing where they were felt very real and thankfully nothing went wrong but I keep thinking what could’ve happened otherwise.
I realize now that I shouldn’t have confronted them so aggressively and I was wrong for doing that but I really don’t think me being upset with them for going out with the dogs, without their phones and not telling us where they were was that out of line.
As someone whose mom was at one point suicidal and ran off after a fight I want to say n-t-a, but they’re your parents and it sounds like you were disrespectful. Out of worry sure, and I know there’s plenty of times where it’s justifiable to be disrespectful to elders so don’t come at me for that. But nothing in here seems like you have a bad relationship with your parents, especially with how worried you were. Gonna rule a very gentle YTA, because you could have tried calling family, especially if they live near by.
Id personally go with a gentle ESH.
I think none of them did anything wrong at first. Its fine to drop by someone’s house for breakfast without telling your kids. Its also fine to be worried sick about your parents especially if you live in a rough neighborhood and have been raised with the idea of always having to update family on where you are.
I think both of them are wrong in their reactions after the fact though. OP had been running around searching for the parents and was super scared, so her reaction in the heat of the moment was understandable. But she should’ve apologized to her parents later when she calmed down. OP’s parents didnt react well either though. Who makes fun of their kid for being genuinely scared for their safety? They should’ve considered her feelings and reassured her. Or at least not been super offended.
OP’s excuse for her actions is that she was worried for her parents safety. What excuse do they have?
If they’re like my mom it’s “I’m an adult and allowed to live my life without a babysitter.” I did consider ESH, but if OP had called a few family members who live nearby this all could’ve been avoided. Parents don’t expect us kids to worry about them the way they do us.
Thier excuse? Umm They’re ADULTS!
N-T-A for being worried, but YTA for yelling at them in public; that probably soured the rest of the conversation.
Apologize for that, but then ask them to carry their phones when they leave the house…if for no other reason than to get help if one of the dogs has a problem.
YTA for coming at them aggressively and for the way you titled this post. You’re not wrong for caring about their safety, but you handled this poorly.
Info: are they family dogs or your dogs? You keep changing how you refer to them in the post. I’d be willing to give you some leeway if they were your dogs and they didn’t stay in contact with you. But otherwise, I do think you’re the asshole for taking your frustration out on them. Your anxiety is understandable, but saying “what’s wrong with you” bc they took longer than you thought they would is not okay. Also, do you really not see the difference between your mom requiring her minor children to have their phones on them so she knows where they are and you expecting an adult to have their phone on them all the time? Did you apologize for lashing out on them?
Feeling “terror” because 2 adults with dogs dare to leave home without a phone is bizarre.
>Lately I’ve realized that I’ve become a bit paranoid but here in Mexico things can get very dangerous out of nowhere very quickly and a thing as simple as a text message letting me know that they’re okay **can make me calm**.
Please seek some help for your anxiety. It’s not their responsibility to pander to your paranoia: it’s yours to treat.
YTA
YTA. They are not children and you were Really aggressive over two adults taking a walk. If you are this anxious about your dogs, simply don’t let anyone else walk them.
YTA unless your parents are elderly or have some type of mental deficiencies they should be allowed to leave the house for an hour or so with you going to look for them.
I will never understand why people have to be reachable by phone 24/7/365!
Ooooohh. Mexico. That makes more sense. No offense. But yesterday Mexico City etc. but you did not honor your mother but I’ll allow it.