I celebrated my 20th birthday this Sunday, it is my first time ever throwing a party.
In the beginning i just wanted to do something quick but over time thanks to the motivation of others (such as Riley and my brother) the party got bigger and i got more creative about the things i wanted. Since it was my first party I just wanted people to come and have fun. For 3 weeks, I made my own invitation posters, planned multiple games to play through the night and reserved a spot at a luxurious-ish restaurant. I had 3 cameras on rotation a camera that shoots film, a photography camera that i usually bring and a video camera (vlog camera) (even asked some of my friends to be the photographer or videographer my usual role) so i could capture the moment from multiple angles. I sent the invitation before the details of the party that way I can get a good headcount, we were 15. We meet up at church then go to the karaoke spot and eat at the restaurant.
The day before 3 people cancel on me and 1 just ghosted me. 15> 11; One of my friends from another city was almost going to bail because she was asleep (but for the sake of exemple let’s say she bailed) 11 > 10. The day of we go do the activity : Karaoke with the theme being Fashion Week. At the karaoke, one my friends had a family emergency and left, 10 > 9. Things get messy when 3 of my friends who left in the middle of karaoke. 9 > 6; One told me in advance (lets call her Riley) I got a little mad and I thought it was weird but she probably has something important to do. I was already panicking because we went from 15 to 9. But after some singing I slowly get over it.
Then Riley told me that she was going to leave with both Amber and Lucie. Which i should have suspected since #1 they didnt respect the theme. #2 – Lucie and Amber are always camera ready, so for them to arrive bare face no makeup no fantastic outfit should have rang a few bells. I started panicking and left the room because it was so sudden. I was thinking "Why???" , "Is this normal", " Who just leaves in the middle of a party" ect… I stopped enjoying myself and went quiet to contain my discontent. Outside, Riley pulled me for a chat, she asked me if I was okay and to say what I had to say. So I let loose my thoughts and frustration about the current predicament of my birthday. She was thinking that I was still mad after the message I sent her a week prior (My only thoughts were on the party to go well i was not thinking about her). She said i should be grateful and enjoy the limited time we had together. She ends up crying and the other two (Amber & Lucie) came to her rescue before leaving. I might have reacted a little harshly and now I don’t even know what to say to them. Do you not realize how much though and effort I put into this whole thing. Guys I had an entire award show planned (fake trophies for karaoke). It left a sour taste in my mouth.Because I don’t think im in the wrong, why accept an invitation if your just going to dip in the middle of it. I am really sad and confused ???
YTA. Feels like you love drama. It’s normal for people to come and go at various times over the course of the night.
YTA
NAH. But boy does that sound like way way way too much. 3 cameras on roation? Is this level of extra how you and your friends usually roll?
its nice to decide to do a big event, but you gotta make sure thats a vibe/importance for your group and given folks didn’t take your opportunity to glam up, I can’t help but think maybe your ask was larger than your group norm.
YTA.
Always have your parties in a boat. That way they *really* have to work to leave early.
People come and go at parties; it’s normal. You want drama, don’t you? YTA
You want drama
This sounds so extravagant and extra for a 20th birthday party. It just seems so unreal imo.
ESH.
Who leaves in the middle of a party? A lot of people. Plan future parties with this in mind.
YTA.
Yta come on it’s a party. People can come and go as they please.
Birthday parties don’t usually last for church, then karaoke, then dinner and then awards show. That is a long time on a Sunday before a work day to expect people to be able to be free. 4 hours max. Usually 2-3 is best. This sounded more like a day and a night.
YTA
YTA. You’re young so there’s time to learn but you sound both entitled and controlling here. No one is obligated to come to your party, no one is obligated to dress on theme, and no one is obligated to stay the entire time. People have lives outside of you and your party which sometimes means they have to cancel last minute or leave a party early. It sucks when that happens but letting it affect your party mood and especially getting angry and yelling at people for leaving is a very immature response. You should be grateful that so many people wanted to celebrate your birthday with you in the first place even if some of them ended up not being able to go and others ended up having to leave early. You clearly have friends who love about and care for you so don’t ruin that by getting angry at them for leaving a party early.