I’m a 18-year-old girl who was talking to this guy M(21) for about three months. We’ve recently stopped talking. We were doing well, had a few dates, kissed, and were getting ready to move things forward.
But then after our like, 8th date were we had went rock climbing. We didn’t talk like have a long conversation but we were sending TikToks to one another like normal and he had sent me one and I kinda just reacted silly and I said something along the lines of, “right mama… 😭😭” and he laughed at the message right. Then I sent him one back and he just viewed the message on TikTok and I wasn’t thinking anything of it because we would do that to each other sometimes right.
Then on a Wednesday I had texted him and told him my day like in normally would and he responded asking me about a certain part of what I had explained about my day, and when I responded he didn’t respond. So I wasn’t thinking much of it cause again we would sometimes respond to one another later the next day or at least later in the day.
But one day turns into two,turns into three, turns into almost a week of him not responding to that message… so me thinking something was wrong I was like oh well okay let me ask him what the problem was and if I did anything wrong like that. So I said to him, “hey if there was anything that changed or like I did something, let me know so that I’m no in the dark about it since I would rather you tell me what it was.”
I didn’t get a respond for that and I knew that he would’ve seen my message since he didn’t have work the day I texted and he’s usually awake at that time and I was left in delivered for another day so with my emotions getting the better of me and I blocked him…. Which I don’t feel like I should’ve and I should’ve maybe waited a little longer to hear him out but like honestly I was fed up and was like fuck that!
But then my emotions got the better of me again and I texted him asking if we could talk about what happened and what it was and he just left me on read. Which I thought was rude so I unfollowed him in TikTok but not anything else cause obviously I was desperate for a connection or whatever.
I also just felt like, if he was really mad about me blocking him and he couldn’t reach me he would’ve been able to reach out to me on TikTok or instagram like we do any other time so I was angry when he left me on read because it felt a little petty but also me blocking him was petty but yeah whatever 😭😭
So I just wanted to know would I be the asshole if I were to reach out again but like this time call him… and also am I the asshole in the situation because I felt like I overreacted and didn’t need to do what I needed to do in this situation….
(Also sorry this is all over the place but like my thoughts and feelings are all over the place about this and I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.)
YTA. He’s ghosting you, and YES that sucks, but he’s telling you both that he’s not interested and that he’s a coward. Believe him. You’re better off letting people like that walk away.
He ghosted you…. with no response… So you’re clearly NTA, but sadly I think it is time to turn the page
NTA. He ghosted you for a week. I find it hard to believe he didn’t have 30 seconds in that time to send a quick message letting you know what was going on.
If you’re progressing a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to stay in touch, it’s best you move on.
NTA, he is for ghosting you and it’s a shitty thing for him to have done… but as gently as possible, find some self-respect and stop contacting him. The message he’s sent by NOT sending a message is clear and you’re not helping yourself by continuing to pursue him.
I haven’t contacted him for a while now so I’m proud of myself for that! I just really like to beat the dead horse and overthink my actions in every situation I’m in 😭😭
Both of yous are, move on..
soft NTA.. you for sure did not initiate any of the awkwardness going on here.
he’s definitely causing more of the problems. unfortunately, dating and ghosting is a pretty common thing despite the fact that it’s incredibly rude, and its no surprise that its causing a bunch of complicated/annoying emotions.
from the amount of times that he’s left u on read, not responded, etc, objectively i would conclude that he probably lost interest and is too immature to tell you straight up, which really sucks. i wouldn’t say you’d be the asshole if you reached out, but i don’t think it’s a good idea because he really isn’t acting interested and u shouldn’t waste your effort/enthusiasm on a guy that isn’t gonna reciprocate.
i’d also say soft nta for the blocking him and stuff. definitely not a good idea and very in the moment, but if he isn’t interested, it’s probably not gonna affect him very much. its not a good idea because it’s not good for YOU, rather than taking a step back and re-evaluating, you’re throwing ur emotions at the situation. i totally get it, i’m ur age and i’ve felt really similar at times so know this isn’t coming from a place of judgement or anything, just understanding. if the guy mans up and wants to reach you, i’m more than sure he’ll be able to.
in the meantime, take yourself on a date, hang out with friends, try and remove some of ur emotions from the situation so ur not stressing about it. once you take some time with yourself, you’ll probably come to some better conclusions about what the right thing to do is, not for this ghoster dude, but for \*you\*
xo
Hi op here! I do just want to say also this was like my first ever like real like “relationship” type thingy with anyone like ever… like in my entire life span so it was just hard to let go of when he was a lot of my first and it really sucked 😭😭
NTA i’m sorry you’re dealing with this. also blocking someone who wasn’t going to respond anyway doesn’t make you as asshole. also, i encourage you to go ahead and block (again) and move on. i think he’s too immature to communicate like an adult, and you deserve someone who would tell you if something was wrong. i don’t think reaching out to him again is going to do anything but push him further and upset you more. move on, allow yourself to be okay with not having closure.
NTA. You shouldn’t have unblocked him. Now block him on the phone and in all forms of social media, and forget him ASAP.
Aye aye captain 🫡
He doesn’t like you. Don’t worry about having blocked him, it didn’t change anything. Move on.
NTA
He ghosted you. People that do that lack either social awareness or emotional capacity to deal with real life stuff. They are just not mature and not relationship material.
Move on and learn from it. Be glad that you found out he’s childish and lacks ability to deal with emotions before the relationship went further.