I 24M Broke up with my girlfriend 24F because of my friends.
My girlfriend recently Lost her closest cousin in a bike accident around new years. I had plans on that day. While she was communicating with me I went to movies at evening she communicated with me how she wasn’t feeling like a priority to me at a time like this. We talked and solved it. and at the new year’s eve I celebrated with my childhood friend group. My Plan was to celebrate it with them and call her and talk to her about it. I told her around 12 I will call. I did to wish her. But My friends got very drunk so I had to call her again later. At 4:44 am. She was mad.
But she forgave me after this.
On the first week of January I had my friend’s birthday and our anniversary a day later. On my friend’s birthday me and my same friends had some drinks in my house. After 12 a few of my friends decorated to celebrate it on a bar of a neighboring town. They called 3 female friends for getting us free entry. When we reached the bar we saw that there was some fight going on outside so we thought of another place. My friends decided that they will celebrate it in the hostel room of one of the girls and we went.
I talked to everyone about my girlfriend and let everyone knew.
My girlfriend unaware of this. Got super mad when I told her what happened last night. She started telling me that it wasn’t appropriate at all.
First she got mad at me for going in a random girls room.
Secondly she got mad at my friends for making me ride a 2-wheeler at midnights around new years when everybody is drunk on the road.
I told her that I don’t like when people say something bad about her. And the same goes for my friends.
She said she is done being not a priority to me. She is done talking about it and asking for it.
She told me my friends will always be my higher choice and She knows that my friends get me into trouble sometimes and she is done. My friends will put me in situations like this and she will have nothing to say. I will do nothing she said.
For me I get her but My friends are humble people who always say nice things about her, how rare she is, how nice she is and how much she loves me. My friends work hard and deserve a day of wildness atleast once a year. I know why she got mad but my friends don’t comes first I choose her too.
What to do?
YTA, but not because you’re evil—because your priorities are out of sync with what you *say* you want.
Your girlfriend was grieving and repeatedly felt like an afterthought, and your actions backed that up: late calls, drunk friends, random girls’ rooms, risky decisions. Intent matters less than impact. You may *say* you choose her, but consistently choosing situations where she feels sidelined proves her point. If you want a serious relationship, boundaries with friends aren’t optional.
Like, your girl just lost her cousin and you’re out partying in random girls’ rooms at 4am. You can’t expect her to chill after that.
YTA, your girlfriends cousin didn’t just go away on vacation – they’re dead, they’re not coming back, and a piece of your girlfriend died with them. Yet you can’t even be bothered to prioritize her and you repeatedly chose to put her up on a shelf like an object you could deal with later and you repeatedly chose to make bad choices with your reckless friends.
Your girlfriend has every right to dump dead weight that doesn’t add anything to the relationship.
This has absolutely nothing to do with your friends and everything to do with you and your poor choices and actions.
YTA
Not for breaking up with her but for how you treat her. Every single thing you’ve mentioned she’s right to be upset about. If you can’t treat her as a priority, you shouldn’t be with her
YTA here, you didn’t break up with your girlfriend because of your friends, it sounds like you got dumped because of how you were treating her and still don’t seem to be aware that you weren’t passively carried along with the drinking and trips to hotel rooms but chose to go and were an active participant. Take responsibility for what you did or you’ll never learn.
You sound YTA in general. You didn’t even listen to your friends about her. Have fun with your “wildness”. Maybe someday you will grow up.
Riding a two-wheeler? Do you mean a motorcycle?
Stop blaming your friends for your choices.
YTA come on man, no way you wrote this, read it and still think you’re in the right. Your gf lost a close family member and instead of giving up plans with your friends you’re out watching movies, partying with random girls in their hotel rooms and ferrying drunk people around until 4-5am. Not to mention engaging in behaviour that likely resulted in her cousin dying which would be a trigger for her. Also you admit that your friends get you in trouble sometimes – why should she have to deal with such an inconsiderate mess of a person?
YTA, this shouldn’t even be a question.
YTA. She’s much better off without you. Maybe don’t date anyone else until you grow up a bit.
Yta. You had numerous opportunities to prioritize your girlfriend, but each time, you chose your friends. It’s surprising that she didn’t end the relationship when you weren’t there for her during a loved one’s passing. Your lack of remorse when given a second chance is telling. Until you’re ready for a relationship, it’s best to remove yourself from the dating pool. Your girlfriend and any future partner deserve better than your current behavior.
YTA. Your behavior is pretty selfish and I’m surprised she dated you long enough to get to girlfriend territory. You probably should not be dating if you think this is acceptable treatment of a partner.
You don’t sound like a reliable narrator or a good person, and she will be far better off without you. And you didn’t break up with her – she was rightfully done and told you so. Now you can enjoy your “wildness” and freedom – sounds like a win-win situation. YTA.
YTA. She dumped you because she’s right.
She’s not a priority to you, and you’re just like your friends.
This is going to keep happening until you take accountability for your behaviour, which is highly doubtful given your ham-fisted justification on how “humble” they are.