This is a throwaway account and English is not my first language so there may be some spelling mistakes.
For some context I(19F) and my closest friends who are all also 19F have a group chat where we tend to post many things about our life. We have had this group chat for many years now, but since we don’t live near each other anymore it has been quiet. I don’t have siblings so I tend to sometimes overshare my feelings to my friends as I don’t have anyone else to talk about them with.
A couple days ago, my father was facing some health issues that could be life-threatening. I did not know who to talk to for my emotions so I went to that group chat to talk about my feelings because they always tend to make me feel better.
No one was online so I just dumped my emotions when one of my friends, "Sarah" came online and read everything that I sent. Her response to it was a mirror selfie of her with her tongue out.
In the heat of the moment, I thought that she was mocking my father being sick as Sarah and I have had some disagreements and she tends to not reply much to my messages. The sudden reply only when I am talking about my sick father got me angry.
In the groupchat I lashed out at her calling her a narcissistic asshole and told her if this is how she will reply then she should leave the chat. She replied with many swears and said that I was jealous of her because she was better looking than me and that I was the asshole for calling her that. She also said that "I didn’t know how to behave" and sent me many threats.
Recently, I have been going through loss of many friends and family members and Sarah said "I am the reason why everyone leaves," which had hurt me the most.
When my friend tried to stand up for me she started calling my friend a "fried pig," "monkeys," and also said she "worships demons," which was very hurtful as my friend is very religious.
Another reason why she might have called me "jealous" is because of drama that has happened prior to this experience.
I had met a guy who I had really liked and introduced to our friend group. I will call him "Sam" for this post. I told Sarah how much I liked Sam and how I was going to tell him soon.
The very next day, I saw Sarah hugging Sam and proceeding to get closer and closer to him. I tried confronting her about it and she said she sees Sam as a brother. I didn’t talk to Sarah for a few days and soon heard from a mutual friend that they are dating and still are. I had brushed it off to not create more drama in the group and had not told anyone how I really felt except for the friend who had stuck up for me in the situation.
I have been thinking about this and now I am doubting if I was the ahole for calling Sarah a narcissist and doubting if I am the reason why people leave. Sarah has many friends while I only have one or two. She was once my best friend and seeing her tell me this to my face makes me think that I am doing something wrong. Am I the one in fault here?
It’s a rule that every group chat will eventually spawn another, smaller group chat without the most annoying members, and that if you think that’s not true, you’re the one who’s been left out. Time for a new sarah-less GC. NTA.