My kiddo is 10 and is the oldest out of 5. We’re trying our best to make it, this year has been really hard financially but we always get them what they want and need. They all have THEIR OWN brand new ipads. My oldest has a kids watchthat works to call and text but I promised her if she got honor roll I’d get her a iPod touch.. she knew it would only work with wifi I EXPLAINED THIS TO HER AND WE TALKED ABOUT IT , BUT TODAY I was looking into it and I didn’t think it would be worth the money spending if she couldn’t even download apps or even FaceTime her friends on it due to iOS updates and stuff. So I thought about it , and I went ahead and got her a moto play G 2025. I have a moto razr so I figured it should be good, she’s literally 10. But her and her friends from class are all in a iMessage group chat, and they always FaceTime. She’s literally texting and calling them all day in her free time.
She had a tough start to the year being bullied and despite all of that she managed to keep her grades up and I’m super proud. But when I told her I got her an android not an iPhone she had the most ungrateful little look on her face. It broke my heart. My husband and I started with flip phones, we got our first iPhones when we were literally over 16. Am I an asshole for being upset she is complaining about not being able to text in her group chat and FaceTime? Also apparently she lied to her friends that she had an iPhone …. I don’t condone her lying . But also I feel like shit that all her friends families can afford to buy their 10 year olds iPhones , shit If I had a iPhone to pass down to her I would but I don’t because a year ago I told myself im not buying anymore iPhones they ever last.
UPDATE: imma just get her the iPod so she can use it with wifi. I was being nice enough to get her a actual cellphone with working service that she wasnt expect ing to get until she was 13 year old. Y’all are right I’m an asshole for lying . I’m returning to device and I’m gonna get her the iPod. Months ago I explained to her it may not work that that’s what happens with apple product when new things come out but y’all are making me sound like I’m being horrible so imma follow thru with what I said then! She can wait til she’s 13 to get a real cell
YTA – if you promised an iPod, despite your financial circumstances, then an Apple product was the way to go. I agree with your assessment of the iPod, but a) she likely didn’t know what an “iPod” was other than “Apple” and b) you KNOW that she FaceTimes and iMessages and you KNOW that your phone does not. Fundamentally, don’t make promises you can’t keep, kids remember this shit!
well you promised one and bought the other. so a slight YTA
Apple products work really well with other Apple products.
Android works quite well with other Androids.
cross product is not that good.
YTA.
You promised her something that did all of the things she wanted. You gave her something that does none of those things instead then have the audacity to call her ungrateful.
Don’t make promises you won’t keep.
YTA.
You promised her one thing, and despite even admitting she did an amazing job under difficult circumstances, you got her something else.
You also know that what you got her doesnt meet the functionality she was looking for – to be able to FaceTime with her friends.
If she’s feeling isolated by bullying, she was probably looking forward to being able to engage with her friends more; likely the largest contributing factor to her working so hard. You promised her a device that would help but failed to live up to your promise. Her dissapointment is entirely understandable and justified.
Yta. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
YTA for promising something and then not following through
YTA for “always getting them what they want”
YTA for believing that small children *need* brand new technology – and for bragging that each of them has their very own
YTA for instilling and encouraging a sense of materialism in your children
YTA for raising ungrateful little shits who will grow up to be entitled asshole grownups
YTA for insisting that your children having the best and newest technology despite the fact that you can’t afford it
You’re a glaring example of everything that is wrong with society. YTA
Do five kids 10 and under all need their own brand new iPad? Jesus
It blows my mind he’s envious of other families being able to “buy all their kids iphones” when he’s buying his EACH of his FIVE brand new ipads.
The title reads as NTA. I didn’t have a phone of any sort until I was 21. They were popular long before then but we never could afford it. After reading the body text, YTA for lying to her. Period. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
Yta. I can get used iPhone right now for under $150. Some phone companies will give you a iPhone 13 or 14 for free because the phone is considered old. Plus websites like Swappa and eBay exist! Did you even try to search for an affordable iPhone? because I don’t think you did
YTA but not because you got her an Android. You are obviously allowing your insecurities to influence your parenting. You are teaching her that her worth is about the things she has. You are setting her up for a lifetime of feeling not good enough and dissatisfied with what she has. I say this as someone who spends nearly every waking minute dealing with technology.
I recognize your situation because my mother was the same. She focused relentlessly on brand names and buying things, yet we didn’t have much money.
You have my empathy. I know how hard it is to feel that our loved ones deserve more. But I repeat: you are not helping your kids. Your child is only 10, for crying out loud. If you do not get a hold of this situation now, you and the rest of your family will be miserable for the next 20 or so years because it will get worse as your kids get older.
You need to sit her down and have a talk and reinforce what you teach her at every opportunity. Her worth is not about her stuff. A phone is a tool. If it can do the basics, that is all she needs. If her friends have better phones, then she needs to learn to deal with that. It doesn’t make them better people. She needs to focus on having hobbies and interests and studying. If she wants expensive things, she needs to save up for them–she is at the age where she could be selling lemonade and almost old enough to be thinking about doing gardening, etc, for neighbors.
As for the lying, you need to tell her that it’s a sign she bases her worth on her stuff and that is a mistake.
iPhones do actually last, but it is beyond ridiculous to buy one for a 10-year-old. There is no reason a child needs such a sophisticated phone. My own iPhone is refurbished. It’s an older model and it is completely fine. Seriously, get a grip because you are setting your family up for sadness. Good luck.
YTA. (Only because I think you may have misunderstood the issue). It’s not that you got her a bad phone, it’s that the operating is wrong.
Does she really need a smart phone at the 10 though?! If she did you didn’t need to get the newest one.
Solution however…. If it’s just iMessage that is the issue, she can do that from her iPad so I don’t get the issue.
YTA. I personally don’t think kids that age should have expensive iPads or phones. But when you promise something you should keep it. You promised something with a condition. Your kids fullfilled the condition. She wanted the iPhone for a specific reason (Facetime).
It’s highly unfair that you complain about her “ungrateful face” when YOU broke a promise. When you don’t want to buy expensive stuff, that’s absolutely fine. But don’t promise it in the first place.
YTA you can’t compare what tech you got growing up to now. flip phones barely even exist now and you got your first iphone when you were over 16 and not 10 bc they didn’t even exist yet.
she’s lying to her friends about having an iphone to fit in, lesson learned from bullying. if her main concerns are facetime and imessages, getting her an android is useless because she is not going to use it, she’s just going to continue talking to her friends on her ipad bc making the text chain green would be reasons to not include her in it and be left out (for ten year olds). an ipod is like a more portable ipad she can use when connected to wifi.
a reasonable option is to get her an older, second hand iphone like the iphone 8 which is around similar price point and is kind of like an ipod touch with data capabilities