I (20M) was driving my Mazda MX-5 Miata when I got into a wreck.
I won’t sugarcoat it was my fault.
Someone else got hurt really bad, but so did I. They survived & were in the hospital for weeks. I survived and was in a coma for 2 days and let out quickly but it wasn’t minor. There were real injuries. Since then, they’ve completely cut contact and there’s now a no-contact order in place.
I understand why. I really do. If I were them or their family, I’d probably want nothing to do with me either.
But I’m struggling.
I feel extreme guilt every day. I replay it constantly. I think about how one decision changed both of our lives. I don’t blame them for ghosting me. I don’t blame them for wanting space. But the silence feels deathly.
Part of me wants to apologize properly. Part of me knows that reaching out would violate the order and probably just make things worse. So I haven’t.
People around me either treat me like a villain or like I should “just move on.” I’m not trying to dodge responsibility. I’ll accept whatever legal or financial consequences come. I just feel like I’m not allowed to be devastated because I was the one behind the wheel.
I lost my car. They lost their sense of safety and maybe more. I know those aren’t equal.
But am I the asshole for still grieving and struggling mentally over this? For wishing I could say sorry? For feeling crushed even though I’m the one who caused it?
Dude. A no-contact order is huge and suggests there’s a LOT you’re not telling us. At the very least you harassed this person after the event.
They don’t owe you the emotional labour to assuage your guilt. Let it go, stop pestering them, and deal with your guilt by seeing a therapist or donating to charity.
YTA
That’s what I was wondering. Maybe the guy was relentlessly trying to contact them after they said they didnt want to talk…but you are correct, SOMETHING else went down that he isnt saying.
YTA, I’m sorry. You don’t have the right to be in contact with this person. I see that you have genuine regret. Please focus on your own sobriety. Later when you are more stable, you can try to pay it forward by volunteering with organizations like MAAD or with NA. Take care of yourself. Leave this person alone. They have made their wishes clear.
live with your guilt and respect their distance. you’re human for struggling, but it would be another level of selfish for expecting them to give you another second of their time when your actions changed their life. nobody stays in a hospital for weeks without a life changing disability. best you can do is learn to be a better person so you never hurt anyone else the same way.
YTA if you did something stupid and got people seriously hurt.
Are you allowed to feel bad about it? Sure. Does doing a stupid thing mean you’re less of a person, or of less value? No. It may (very reasonably) mean you’ve lost that persons trust permanently.
Go to therapy.
YTA
YTA
According to the comment you made in r/predictivetextprompts.
You admit you’ve never been sober behind the wheel. That they should have known better.
Clearly this is why they want nothing to do with you. You still aren’t taking responsibility for your actions.
Please do yourself and everyone else a favor and check into a rehab or some kind of addiction program before you do worse to yourself and others.
YTA especially for your response to the judgment bot. Car wrecks dont “just happen” its irresponsible kids being behind the wheel doing irresponsible things.
With a weapon that could take a life. You could have taken someone or your own life. With a vehicle.
You are a major asshole. The told you to leave them along and then you got into a physical altercation with the victim of your irresponsible acts mother and now you are not allowed to speak to them.
If you try I hope they call the police and have you arrested.
Eta you deserve to live with this guilt for the rest of your life. Love how the title is i wrecked my miata not that i almost killed my friend and now they wont talk to me. You care more about the car than them. Your just guilty and cant sleep at night.
You deserve it.
YTA. You were drunk and/or high and drove. You’ve done enough damage and you should feel like shit. Get help and leave your victim alone.
You need some therapy. It’s not my job or anyone except the courts or law enforcement to decide if you are liable for what happened. However, losing a car versus their injuries isn’t comparable, so that’s why you need help. Your need for closure doesn’t trump their need to get distance from you. Violating that only shows how entitled you feel.
YTA
My dad was in a very serious car wreck that changed his life on the daily. He spent almost a year laid up and got his leg amputated. He was in pain daily and suing didn’t make up for any of it. This was over three decades of complications. The consequences of what the person who hit him did can never be taken away. That was a choice made by someone who should have never gotten behind the wheel.
Maybe someday you’ll understand, but you don’t get the severity of what you did or you would never have posted this and think your suffering is that great.
You looking for permission to continue harassing the victim of your aggression, lack of self-control, and incompetent driving?
No.
YTA.
Leave them all alone. All you lost is your car. Quit whining. Accepting responsibility means accepting that these people no longer want you in their lives.
YTA for the car wreck and you will be doubly the asshole if you try to reach out to them when they have made it clear they don’t want that. Leave them alone, you’ve done enough to them. Then get yourself to therapy and figure out a way to live with the consequences you’re experiencing.
YTA. You caused the wreck. The victim isn’t required to help you process. You can apologize when you testify at the trial.
YTA.
You didn’t get a no-contact order because of a car wreck. Something else happened that you are leaving out. Leave that person alone, respect the no contact order, and get therapy to process the feelings on your own.
> I’ll accept whatever legal or financial consequences come.
One of the consequences is that you lost the relationship. You don’t get to make an apology. You don’t get closure. It sucks, but it is your responsibility to respect the wishes of the person you injured and stay away.
> I just feel like I’m not allowed to be devastated because I was the one behind the wheel.
This is the sentiment you need to take to therapy. You can process those feelings with a trained professional. Some of the other comments here suggest that you were driving under the influence, and in that case, I understand why you are not getting sympathy from people who know the whole story.