Hi, I’ve never done this before, but I need to know if I am the asshole. I (21F) am pregnant and I really wanted a gender reveal party to find out the gender of my baby. I asked my cousin and sisters to throw it for me, but then my mom was offended I didn’t ask her. I then said she could help them if she wanted but she had told me when I mentioned wanting a gender reveal that she thought they were stupid and pointless. She ended up helping with the gender reveal but ended up ruining it for me. I wanted to be apart of the planning or at least know the date and time it was happening which I had asked for ahead of time, but they kept it all a secret from me and ended up doing it on Super Bowl Sunday. Mind you I’ve never liked football in my life nor does the father. So my cousin and sister disappear when we were hanging out and then I get called outside, lo and behold there’s decorations set up and everyone is outside smiling. When I realized what they did I immediately wanted to cry (pregnancy hormones and such) I wanted to be dressed up with cute makeup and a cute dress one or something, I had no makeup on and was wearing a tank top and yoga pants with no shoes. I looked terrible and felt terrible. Everything felt rushed and like a joke to me, no one wanted to tell me so I could be prepared, they just told me “get ready”. I literally asked my mom the day before what she was wearing for the Super Bowl and she said of I don’t know probably leggings, so that’s what I wore too, then she’s in a pretty dress with her makeup done and hair done. After everything is all said in done I quietly excused myself and went and cried in the bathroom. I was upset for the fact that the gender isn’t what I wanted, and the fact that no one thought it was important to tell me about my own gender reveal. They said it was supposed to be a surprise but I’ve always hated surprises. Then my mom comes and tells me that I’m ungrateful because they were doing something nice for me. I personally feel like my gender reveal was downplayed by making is the halftime show at a Super Bowl party. It was at all about the baby or me it was about everyone wanting to know the gender. I didn’t feel special or anything and I feel like if it was a gender reveal for ME it should have been a little bit more about me. So Am I the Asshole?
And this is why it’s hard for babies to have babies.
Seems like if you wanted it done a particular way you should have thrown it yourself. ESH.
I have a lot of empathy for your situation and your hormones, and I’m sure this is in general a very emotional time for you. But, sorry, yes, YTA. Forget about the fact that gender reveal parties are, in fact, stupid, and I hope nobody will ever invite me to one. You had somebody else plan this party for you because you apparently didn’t want to do it, and then you got upset that they didn’t plan it precisely like you envisioned it. If you had specific wishes like this you should’ve mentioned them, or, just really organized the party yourself.
And if you were really upset about the gender of your kid, then you are double the asshole.
You wanted a gender reveal, wanted your family to plan it and then got upset because they did what you asked? If you wanted your perfect gender reveal then YOU should have planned it instead of palming it off on your family.
And then to make it even worse, you’re upset that baby isn’t what you wanted it to be, even though you knew there was a 50/50 chance when you decided to have one.
So you wanted a party. People threw you a party. And you’re unhappy with how they threw you a party.
YTA
ESH
gosh this is exhausting to read. Just everyone here did things the wrong way and are acting the wrong way. Just one terrible decision after another.
Isn’t the gender reveal supposed to be, you know, about the baby? I don’t know. I never been to one.
YTA for a few reasons
Top reason: “the gender isn’t what I wanted”
… this is genuinely terrible. I hope you get those feelings sorted out before your baby arrives.
But also – if you don’t like surprises and wanted to be involved in the planning, you should have chosen a date and a location and just simply asked them for help setting up the actual reveal (ex: asked them to put together the actual pink/blue reveal – not the whole day).
They did a lackluster job but it sounds like you would’ve been upset regardless.
YTA here. You let them plan it and keep the date a surprise. You are mad it was about revealing the sex of the baby when that is the explicit purpose of the event. You are upset about what you are having. These are problems you created for yourself. Just plan it yourself next time if you want it done a specific way.
>I was upset for the fact that the gender isn’t what I wanted
This is the part that makes YTA. If there’s any chance of disappointment in a 50/50 shot, don’t have a party revolved around that.
You also say you hate surprises, but wanted a gender reveal, which is literally a party for a surprise.
They should’ve taken you into account for the party, but you’re the bigger AH in this scenario. Get more involved with your baby shower for looking cute and all that jazz.
YTA. not only are gender reveals disgusting, but it’s also gross that you were disappointed in the gender of your future child. I hope you recognize that and vow to love that child you’re having regardless of how they will identify.
I’ll give you credit for the poor party that was thrown for you.
>”I was upset for the fact that the gender isn’t what I wanted”
YTA
YTA. Sorry, I think its per se asshole to ask people to throw you a party where you are the focus and then get mad it isn’t to your liking. Just do it yourself then.
YTA
You’re about to become a parent. Time to grow up.
You hate surprises but wanted a party to surprise you with the gender of your baby, plus there is a gender you did not want? Feeling bad for the soon to be baby who is going to be unwanted. Please don’t keep trying until you get the gender you want. YTA