About 4 years ago I gifted my husband a bidet for Christmas. I did not think it would come back to bite me in the ass like this. For context, I am newly postpartum so I’m trying to tamper my emotions and not let it feel so personal.
Almost every day now, I’m finding shit splattered on the toilet seat from the bidet splashing off of his buttcheeks. It’s actually really infuriating.
When I started noticing a few months ago, I mentioned it to him and he was so offended that he brought up that I would leave period blood under the seat occasionally and he never said anything because “it’s human” and he didn’t want to embarrass me (it wouldn’t, I would just clean it if noticed). I was 8 months pregnant and hormonal at the time so it felt pretty irrelevant to bring up occasional blood spatter from UNDER the seat when it wasn’t currently an issue. Anyway, it turned into a bigger argument so I’ve kept my mouth shut about the poop splash ever since.
But I’m getting to the point where I can no longer keep it in. It’s so annoying to have to disinfect the seat every single time I’m rushing to use the toilet. Like who doesn’t look at the seat while they flush and notice that? It almost feels like it’s on purpose but now I know he would be too embarrassed to do something like that.
So would I be an asshole if I point it out again? Or should I spare him the embarrassment and just keep disinfecting the seat? I’m scared we’ll have people over one day and they’ll catch it before I do.
NTA period blood is just going to happen, it’s a normal human thing, and splashback to the bottom of the seat can happen. Shit is not. Where shit ends up is entirely a conscious decision. If shit’s ending up on the seat, he’s being rude, careless, and he needs to learn to freaking clean up after himself. You shouldn’t have to treat your own bathroom like a public one that trolls sneak into and throw shit on the walls etc… that’s just not something anyone should have to deal with in their own home.
Tell him period blood still doesn’t excuse him leaving shit on the toilet seat. He needs to be a man and an adult and make sure it’s clean before he leaves. Don’t spare him the embarrassment. He’s embarrassing himself by not cleaning up after himself.
Let me get this straight, he’s leaving fecal matter on top of the toilet seat? I mean the underside is what it is (shit happens, and sometimes blood/urine), but on top of the seat is disgusting!!! If I have this right, NTA.
NTA
I’m sorry but how does that even happen? I’ve been using a bidet for some time and unless the water pressure is painfully high or someone just lifts their butt from the seat while the bidet is running, I cannot see how poop gets on the seat. Maybe I’m missing something, don’t think I want to know either.
>So would I be an asshole if I point it out again?
No, not at all. I think you should call him and make him clean up his mess. Ask him to double check after washing that none of his crap is on the seat. It would be a bigger embarrassment for the both of you if a guest found the toilet in that state.
>About 4 years ago I gifted my husband a bidet for Christmas. I did not think it would come back to bite me in the ass like this
I don’t blame you for not expecting that! If your bidet is biting you in the ass, it is seriously defective 🤪
Joking aside, I actually do think your bidet is defective, or he’s not using it right. That is not supposed to happen.
He’s absolutely doing it on purpose. Especially given you already raised the issue with him previously and he continues to do it. He should be embarrassed, don’t spare his feelings, he is choosing to be disgusting. You’ve raised it once, and his response was to shift blame and focus onto you.
Go ahead on put him on blast, he’s a grown man, he needs to be tidying up his own shitty mess if he wants to live with other people. He can go live by himself if he wants to be filthy.
Also as a bidet user, I cannot comprehend how he’s splattering shit all over the seat, that alone seems deliberate. How does that even happen.
This behavior began during pregnancy. He’s following the abuser’s handbook. It’s like clockwork. Make her handle his actual physical shit while she is having a difficult time already. I hope she understands how much disdain he has for her.
I don’t understand how this is happening. He should remain seated, with his asscheeks fully pressed to the toilet seat, while the bidet is spraying.
Then he should stand up, dry off, and go about his day.
There should never be a circumstance where the bidet is spraying his butt while said butt is hovering above the toilet seat…and how else would there be shit on top of the seat?
Is he hover pooping?? Does he just squat over the toilet each time? _Does he have quads of steel from all this crouching???_
This is exactly what I was wondering. We’ve had a bidet since 2020 and not once have I, nor my husband, splashed poop on the toilet seat.
NTA Ask him if you should have a talk with his mother about what she cleaned it up with, because, well, it’s still happening…
NTA wtf is wrong with him
Bodily fluids of any kind on the INSIDE of the toilet bowl are understandable. On the seat? It needs to be cleaned up by whomever did it, immediately. NTA
NTA
The divorce came out of nowhere!
Is he standing up while using the bidet? That’s incorrect usage! And disgusting!
Or he’s doing it on purpose