We cook maybe once or twice a week due to our work schedules. I work 11-12 hour shifts for 5 days straight, with one hour commute each way, so obviously I cannot cook daily. My work can be quite secluded, making access to somewhat healthy foods challenging (or sometimes only fast food available).
My wife is pregnant and also works 5 days a week so realistically, we don’t have much time to cook during our weekdays.
Realistically, our goal is to make it to 3-4 days into the week (lunch and dinner for 2 ppl for this time period) and we may eat out after our 5th day after work.
Her sister often drops off her daughter unannounced during the day, which is fine. But it has become normalized that when she gets picked up, she expects dinner every time, normally during our meal prep time. I’ve told my wife that I have no issue if we are given notice before hand so we can buy extra food for the week and prepare extra. Note: she also eats line a 300lb line backer.
However, yesterday, something overcame me when her sister destroyed and ate our meal prepped food, enough for 2 dinners (measuring 6-8oz of protein per serving). I told my wife that she’s eating into our meal prepped food, and she says "so what, its just food".
But its not just food, its our meal prepped food for the next 3-4 days.
AITA? We don’t see eye-to-eye regarding this issue.
NTA – You have every right to be annoyed. Home girl needs to cook her own food!
Or better yet, she can cook OP and wife some food every so often, as thanks for babysitting her kid.
NTA – but i think you need to sit down and have a conversation with your wife. It’s not about it being food. It’s about the fact 1) you have become a free daycare, 2) you are providing meals you shouldn’t have to provide. 3) it’s time to have some boundaries in place.
Exactly. She literally eating your time. It’s ridiculous, as is the dropping off of a child unannounced. NTA.
All of this.
And when tf are you going to have time for all this bs from your SIL when your own kid is here???
NTA – it’s not just food, it’s also represents your time, of which you and your wife have very little of .
Sounds like sis should be picking up dinner for all of you on her way back. NTA
NTA. If wife won’t help, then it should be her food that gets eaten. She has to figure it out, not you.
It’s not just food. You spent your money. You spent your time cooking and cleaning. Ofc you’re expecting to eat them.
If your wife isn’t on the same page as you. Next time when you see SIL tell her one sentence “please buy groceries and I’ll cook extra food for you.”
Label them your name, your wife name, your SIL name.
Don’t argue with your wife. She’s pregnant and shouldn’t be stressed. Do it for the sake of your baby. Don’t worry about how right you are. Just keep your wife stressless as possible.
If SIL has any dignity hearing you(BIL) asking to bring groceries like that she should know her place and be a better person.
If SIL is an A—Ho she’ll blow up biggest drama and your wife probably will support her sister.
Then you’ll go with plan B. Buy a mini fridge with lock like a college kids who can’t trust their roomie or bring all prepared food to store at office fridge and such.
Food cost so much nowadays. Why you work so hard to spend your hard earned money to feed a grown ass A—Ho. Good luck and congrats in advance to a new daddy to be.
NTA.
What is your SIL doing to compensate you for child care? Besides the sheer audacity and rudeness of expecting babysitting and dinner, your wife should be enjoying her first pregnancy (assuming it is), because she will never get another chance to rest without having to get up and attend to a child.
NTA tell the sister to stop. Tell the sister you don’t appreciate planning, going to the store to purchase and taking the time to prep these meals for her to eat them. Tell her you are not responsible for feeding her. You have a wife problem
your wife saying ‘its just food’ is genuinely wild when youre both working insane hours and literally rationing meals to stretch them across the week, like thats not casual snacking territory thats survival logistics. if the sister wants to eat, she can contribute to groceries or bring her own food, nta
NTA. That’s not random food sitting in the fridge. It’s food you specifically prepped to get through long workdays. If someone eats two dinners’ worth of that, they’re not just grabbing a bite. They’re throwing off your whole plan for the week.
You also already offered a reasonable solution. If she gives notice, you can buy extra and cook more. That’s fair. Showing up unannounced and eating a big chunk of your prepared meals isn’t.
Your wife saying “it’s just food” ignores the time and planning that went into it, especially with both of you working and her being pregnant. It’s completely reasonable to be annoyed and to ask for a boundary around the meal prep
Since wifey doesn’t mind, all the food her sister eats should come from her portion.