AITA for saying ….We were asked to bring wine to a party by my sister-in-law and her husband. During the conversation I said “speaking of wine will Aunt Genie be there?” who often attends these parties and typically rocks “purple teeth.” After the comment there were crickets. Not sure if this matters, but I’m in long-term recovery for alcoholism and I’m one of two family members not drinking at these family gatherings. Do I need to apologize for something I thought was merely a light hearted comment?
Yta
NTA
A family member who asks a recovering alcoholic to bring wine is the asshole. Let them know you won’t be doing that. Offer to bring a veggie tray, charcuterie board, or dessert instead.
Yeah that’s insane. Even so, you probably shouldn’t have made that comment. Asking someone in recovery to bring alcohol is a major AH move, but technically E S H- them much more than you, so I’m going NTA.
YTA. You thought you were joking when you were really being cruel. Know better, do better.
I do think you were an AH here, unintentionally. The fact that you’re a recovering alcoholic yourself put more weight on that jab than you might have intended. To them, it might have felt like more of an accusation that Genie has alcoholism than a light joke. They might have also felt like it’s inappropriate for you to make snide comments about others’ alcohol use when you yourself have had problems with it in the past (maybe it felt like hypocrisy to them).
As an aside, it seems like asking a recovering alcoholic to bring alcohol to an event is kinda shitty. Are your in-laws mean or obtuse? Maybe this is more like ESH.
YTA. That was mean, and not funny.
ESH your joke was cruel and unnecessary. Asking a recovering alcoholic to bring liquor to a party is very rude.
NTA
>Do I need to apologize for something I thought was merely a light hearted comment?
The answer to this question is *always* yes. The setup doesn’t even matter. If you make a joke that fails and offends people, you apologize for the mess-up. You can add something like, “FWIW, I wasn’t trying to be mean or offensive, I was just attempting a joke that failed.” But you own the failure and apologize for having unintentionally offended people.
Given the minimal context we have here, your joke does indeed seem pretty mild. However, YTA more for contemplating a refusal to apologize than for the actual content of the joke.
The comment was uncalled for….but I am trying to wrap my head around SIL’s concern for Aunt Genie and little concern for you by asking a recovering alcoholic TO BRING BOOZE!!! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?!?