Apparently I’m selfish..
My cousin’s wedding is on April 11th, which unfortunately falls on the same day as the first day (orientation day) of my nursing school clinical rotation (mental health). According to my nursing program handbook, missing the first clinical day results in removal from the course and possible dismissal from the program. This isn’t flexible or negotiable.
My mother called me selfish and said I didn’t care about the wedding. She said she hopes my cousin misses my wedding day. She told me to get away because she was upset and no longer wanted to talk. What I don’t think my mother understands is.. This is my future career! I’ve been in school trying to become a nurse since 2022. I wish the dates didn’t conflict, and it genuinely sucks that I can’t be there. But I’m not willing to throw away a career I’ve worked incredibly hard to get into over something I truly don’t have control over. If this were my own wedding day, I would completely understand if someone had a similar conflict.
NTA. Your family is wild. Especially your mom calling you selfish. It’s a difficult job market! Do your rotation! Stay in school!! And kudos being a mental health nurse.
NTA. Have you reached out to your program about this and asked if they’re is anything they can do? Otherwise I think you making the best choice to prioritize a lifelong career over a single wedding day.
NTA – how does your cousin feel about it? But I do want to ask if you have tried speaking to the school so see if they’d grant you an exception? It sounds like you’ve only consulted the handbook so far?
hi bby 😉 you’re NTA parents should put their own blood children first before other family members. Their wedding isn’t going to pay the bills for you. esp since you’re not close to them it doesn’t make sense to throw away your career just for a wedding. love u diva 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
NTA. I know it’s hard when you are longterm surrounded by selfish and emotionally immature people but remember…your responsibility is to prioritize your needs first. Don’t waste your time trying to make someone understand something they don’t care about nor interested to understand. It’s not your fault. Put your love and energy into the only person you need to stay loyal to…yourself.
Remember the instructions from flight attendants. Put your mask on first.
Nta. Your mother cares more about her nieces wedding than your career and future.
NTA, my daughter has missed countless events because she was in undergrad and law school. If it was finals week, reading week or midterms, it was a no go. Now she’s studying for the BAR and I just had to explain to the family that if we want her to come, Grandma’s birthday lunch needs to be near her house not 90 minutes away because she can’t do a 6 hour lunch on a study day. The class is 60 hours/week until February 24th so it’s going to continue this way. We’re taking her b skiing after the BAR Exam, we actually postponed our family Christmas ski trip this year to give her the study time.
Send a gift and regrets like a normal person, your mom needs to get over it.
Does your cousin understand that you can’t make it? NTA, and your mother must have done a number on you throughout your life for you not to see that clearly.
Take her up on her offer not to talk and stop feeling guilty.
Haven’t spoken to my cousin yet but I know she will understand. She’s also in school. It’s my mom who has no regards that this is my future career and I can’t miss the first day. She doesn’t understand unfortunately
Don’t seek an exception to the rules about your first day. It will make you look trite and you’ll get off to an awkward start. Inform your cousin. Do offer any assistance that you are actually able to provide prior to that day. Avoid any discussion with your mother about this.
NTA and if YOUR mother cares more about your cousins wedding than your career, I think your mom may be jealous of your success. It’s one thing to be disappointed; it’s another thing to say negative, rude, and hurtful things to your daughter.
NTA – Though you don’t state what your cousin’s feelings are. Those are really the only ones that matter here since it is their day, not your mother’s
NTA pursue your career.et your cousin know you will not be able to attend and a card for a gift. Don’t rely on your mother for communication.