Hi this might be a bit long but i not recently got married to a Brazilian man i met because he is cousins with my friends husband. Anyway everything has been going great for the past 2 years. today is Jan. 4 2026 and as of two days ago there was a conflict between me, his mother, his sister and now i do believe in roping the other girl married to his brother in this conflict due to some things i found out. To start everything off i am female age 22. let’s name the mother M the daughter(sister) J the other girl (brothers’ wife) T…anyway, here’s where things start! A little about me is I’m a very and I mean very anxious person and get over stimulated very easy when there’s to many people in one place. due to that I tend to stay home and now go out much unless I need to. The issue began on Jan 2nd of this new year, 2026. For some context me and my husband have 3 phones. One personal per person and one for our company it just makes it easier on us! M decided to text my husband and say that she was upset with him and me. he replied back with a "hum". than the texts began. I will state direct quotes from said messages ( i kept screenshots just in case) When the texts began she stated " (insert my name the wife) doesn’t live with her family, but you (my husband) have our family and you know we have always been united and now you’re moving away from us. (insert my name) is very weird she closes up out of nowhere. she never has liked our presence and it showed when she wanted to spend her (me) birthday with only you (my husband) in Busch gardens. i wasn’t born yesterday, i notice things. i was going to your house to talk to you guys but yall were leaving so i left it. i do everything so that she (me) spends time with us but she doesnt show any effort. last new year she didn’t want to be with us to celebrate and this year was the same. i want so much to not pay attention to these things but unfortunately i do. I’m your mother i went through so much just to raise you for you to treat me this way. she’s very spoiled if things don’t go her way she gets an RBF. on Christmas you didn’t want to take a picture with me and your father. in the bible it states that you have to honor your parents, maybe that’s why you suffer so much and that’s why certain things have been happening to you. its also because your wife doesn’t build her home and that’s why you suffer so much. i know you’ll say I’m wrong but that’s okay. I don’t want you to do what she does with her family. just that. I raised you with so many difficulties for you to do this to me." end text. Now your wondering like I was when i read these things why she would talk shit behind my back and directly TO MY HUSBAND. i have yet to get an answer for that. I blocked her on everything and the daughter called me childish and rude to an elder so am I in the wrong?
Im unsure what you’re asking if youre the AH about..
This.
Especially since in their explanation they said they think they are not. Why are they hear for judgment then?
[deleted]
Oh.
Normally I’d say YTA but unfortunately a lot of grown folk won’t listen to explanation of social anxiety and consider being over stimulated an excuse to be rude. These weren’t terms in their raising so they dont/ refuse to understand. So.. NTAH but perhaps consider trying to have your hubby explain to her.
Good luck, though.
“Edition”
This seems like the wrong subreddit for you… r/justnomil might be a better place to vent your frustrations.
YTA for this giant mess of a paragraph.
I know!
You’ve admitted that you’re very anxious. Your MIL picked up on that and feels like you’ve closed her out. Get your anxiety under control. But your MIL needs to learn that the bible tells children to honor thy mother and father, not adult children with a spouse. So ESH.
I think this is more that you need to work on your anxiety and how to integrate into your husbands family. See what you can do to be more welcoming. Try to build a relationship with MIL so she can get to know you and understand you a bit more. I think she feels left out/excluded.
If you are able, I strongly suggest therapy to work on managing your anxiety and get some support with relating to the in laws and learning more about their culture.
From what I see, NAH. Just two people struggling to navigate being connected to each other while not understanding differences.