I’ve never made a Reddit post so I don’t know anything about how to format this. We’re both in college and living together in an apartment. The walls are fairly thin so you can hear a good amount. This has happened three times now where I’m sleeping and I’m woken up to him and his girlfriend in the room over. My room is right next to the kitchen so I’m hearing a lot. The microwave closing and all that. The thing that really gets me the fact they’re making food, talking and watching a movie at 2am when I’m trying to sleep. I text him asking him to lower the volume or just watch the movie in his room since he has a massive room. We go back and forth for a bit and he tells me I’m being stand offish because I want them to go into another room or be quiet. We end up talking in my room. I try to tell him that this is a little crazy because we both pay rent and I deserve to get a good night sleep. And he begins with saying “why are you yelling right now” when I was just talking in a stern tone. And he retorts saying that he pays rent too and he should be allowed to feel comfortable in his own home to watch movies and do whatnot. I explain that it is 2am. He tells me that I should have known he is a night owl and that I have known him for a very long time and should expect this. This problem hasn’t happened until now and we have been living together for over a year. He tells me that I should play some white noise to drain out the noise and that he does the same for me when I’m doing stuff when he naps. He also tells me that I do the same when he’s trying to sleep (being loud I guess) saying “you’re going to tell me that you have never been in the living room dumb late at night when I’m sleeping” and yes I have, but he always tells me he can’t hear me. I ask him many times if I’m ever too loud in general. I tell him that if he were to let me know that I’m being loud in the living room I would go straight to my room and do whatnot I’m doing in there. He tells me that I’m saying that if one of us is sleeping nobody should be in the living room and I don’t know how to answer that to be honest. He tells me that I’m saying that for the remainder of time that we live there that if the white noises don’t work then he will stop being in the living room so late. I get that’s a solution but I feel like the entire conversation was so unnecessary. AITA chat?
NTA. He is being very inconsiderate. Are you quiet in the morning and considerate of him? Maybe a bit of noise at 6 am would make him realize it’s a problem.
NTA. He’s being incredibly rude. Y’all either need to set some agreed upon quiet hours, or look into different living arrangements.
>I was just talking in a stern tone
However you want to describe it, you went into this conversation already hostile.
Living with roommates means putting up with a bit of noise. As long as he’s keeping the tv at a reasonable volume and not doing anything wild, he’s fine.
You’re right – you “deserve to get a good night sleep.” But you can achieve that by wearing earplugs or using headphones or playing some white noise. Asking people around you to stop what they’re doing when *you* have the means of blocking it out makes YTA.
I have never found ear plugs that are actually worth a damn that won’t cause me to also sleep through multiple alarms.
Try the Loop ones. They block just the right amount of noise without making it impossible to hear your alarm. They also come with multiple plugs of different sizes so you can adjust them to your ears making them very comfortable. They cost more than the regular foam ones but they’re really worth the price.
He’s allowed to use his home. He’s not throwing wild parties or cooking meth, he’s microwaving snacks and turning on the tv.
You admitted (in a post where you’re trying to get sympathy) that you used a tone that your roommate felt was yelling, so I suspect that you were indeed yelling.
You don’t mention earplugs, a white noise machine, running a fan or humidifier in your room, hanging something thar absorbs sound on the wall, using a targeted speaker so that the people on the couch can hear the tv clearly at a lower volume, or any attempt to fix this other than trying to dictate to a grown man what his bedtime should be and telling him he’s not allowed to use the microwave in a home he pays for. YTA
He can absolutely use his room for the movie at 2am though. Do none of you practice any consideration for anybody else?
It’s 2am. Why should the sleeper use headphones, not the guy using the TV.
Sorry, but in no world is cooking at 2am while you have housemates a normal thing. If you’re doing that you should live alone
You should ask to sit down with him and establish quiet hours. Most apartment have them so it isn’t unreasonable. Tell him that you would like quiet hours to be from midnight to 6 am in the communal spaces because you need to get sleep and noise ordinances usually have quiet hours from 10 am to 8 am so you feel your request is reasonable. If he won’t agree then tell him that you’ll need to consider other options then because staying with someone who has no consideration for their roommates needs is not fair to you.
The white noise machines can help tremendously. Try one!
Can yous swap rooms?
Most people won’t agree with this but your housemate is right, they pay rent the same as you so can use the communal areas whenever they want so this is a you problem.
If you don’t like living with housemates then there’s a pretty straight forward solution
In a year, he’s done this once. And you immediately went at it standoffish. Yeah, YTA.
One of you needs to find a new roommate, NTA.