Hi so, I 18F live with my parents, my 11F sister and 3M brother, ever since I was a child I had difficulties with socializing and concentration, I got diagnosed with ADD at 14 and this year with depression and anxiety I also probably have autism, this is crucial to the story, please keep that in mind that I was only diagnosed because I had really big issues with math all throughout my education, if it weren’t for that my parents wouldn’t care, as they always believed that I was making it all up. So the thing is that my little brother got diagnosed with autism today, that wasn’t surprising to me, since there’s a REALLY big chance that I and my father both have it, but my parents took it badly, especially my mother, she was crying for like half an hour. They called my sister and me to have a “Family” talk as they put it, at first it was normal stuff, about how we’re family and have to support each other etc, but as soon as my sister left they turned to me and said that I must live with them till my brother goes to first grade of school, which means that I would have to live with them for about the next 4 years, when I heard that I laughed in their face and said that they were crazy and I would rather shit on my hands and clap then live with them, which offended them and now they’re not talking to me. I think that most people would be happy, but the thing is that we have a rocky relationship, my father was very abusive to me when I was younger, both verbally and physically, and my mother never stopped it, never said a thing. Now it stopped because I’m a legal adult and I could report it. Ever since my brother was born I was expected to take care of him like a parent and I kind of became his second mother, he’s a sweet kid, but it’s very tiring, my mother sometimes pays me small amounts for thanking care of him, but I’m tired of it. I never once got a thank you, all I hear at home is that I don’t do enough and I don’t try enough. So, was my reaction a bit over the top? Am I the asshole? Also please excuse my English but it’s my second language.
I laughed way too hard at this.
NTA
Your parents chose to have a child late into their years, not you.
They’re “parentifying” you. Good for you for standing your ground.
You could have been nicer about it, but it sure sounds like they wenr’t nice to you.
Live your life! Guilt free! It’s yours and yours alone!
Thank you, it makes me feel better that someone sees my point of view 🙂
Even if you hadn’t been abused by them you’d still not be the asshole for laughing when they said you have to keep living with them to take care of your little brother, that’s absolutely absurd. The shitting in your hands and clapping comment was hilarious and would only be an asshole move if they were good parents, but it sounds like they absolutely deserve it. Get out of there as soon as you can OP, NTA!
That line KILLED. And is a perfect expression I’m adding to my lexicon lol
Im going to steal “id rather shit on my hands and clap”
First time I heard it was from big lez show
You’re an adult, move out. Get your own place & have peace.
I would love to but at the moment I’m not finished with my education and nobody would hire me 🙁
They’re 18, technically an adult but not many people are able to move out at that age, especially without their parents support which OP is probably not gonna have…
NTA PARENTS NEED TO STOP EXPECTING KIDS TO CARE FOR THE KIDS THEY DECIDED TO HAVE.
Don’t procreate if you aren’t ready to take care of the consequences.
Your father was verbally abusive. Your parents ignore your health diagnosis. Your parents aren’t assisting you with getting the proper care you need. You owe your parents nothing. Make sure you have your birth certificate, social security card, lock your credit and see if you have any friends or family you can live with. Take care of yourself they aren’t taking care of you.
For someone who English is a second language for, you got that shit down 😂
Also you’re not the asshole, cause your siblings aren’t your kids, they’re your siblings. I get parents teaching responsibility to their older kids by having them babysit but by no means should it be what your parents are asking and have done.
NTA. You are 18 and are not responsible for their child. It sounds like you’ve been parentified a bit for the last few years, though that depends on the level of responsibly you’ve had with the kid. Occational babysitting is a reasonable ask, as is chipping in to help with household responsibilities (you help the littles get dressed while other adults make breakfast is “chipping in”, you responsible for getting the kid up, dressed, fed,and taken to daycare while other adults sleep in is “parentification”). You watching the kid once a month while adults have date night for a few hours is occational. You staying home from school to watch the kids, or watching kids 100% of the time while not in school or even every weekend is parentification.
Anyway, no, you are not the AH for laughing. That was just the honest answer to their request/demand. Yes, they’ve done a lot for you over the years: it’s what they signed up for when they became parents. Any thing you do for them as an adult is only due to the love you have for them, not owed as payback to taking care you you as a child.
Finally, autism is a spectrum. At 3, there is no knowing what resources the child will need to navigate through life. It sounds like you’re parents don’t want to put in the work needed for a special needs child, though really the only thing a diagnosis can do is inform the adults in the kids life about ways to help him grow and thrive. There are communities and professional help out there to aid your parents. They just need to go find them.
NTA, they choose to have a kid, not u. They need to step up and be parents. Save up to move out ASAP (if u haven’t already) and get all your important documents together (passport, birth certificate, social security number). Also, check your credit if you haven’t already to make sure your parents haven’t opened up credit cards or loans in your name. Your parents are neglectful and abusive, and it wouldn’t surprise me if they’d do something like this to u.
I really hope you can get out soon and limit contact with them. People like this are only there to use and abuse u. They dont truly care for u.