I wanna keep this short and sweet. I (m20) have two roommates (m26) & (m19). My first roommate, we’ll call him Sam (26) has a dog, he’s a very well behaved dog for the most part, but when he’s left on his own he freaks out and tears everything up. My roommate recently started leaving him out of his cage because when he was in the cage he would get so anxious he would pee and poo everywhere in the cage. Now that he’s left out he doesn’t pee or anything as much as he does tear shit up!
I recently decided I just didn’t feel the need to pick up his mess. He’s not my dog. Before this I had always helped pick up stuff he would destroy and make a mess with. Mainly cus he would destroy stuff I left out. I stopped leaving my items out and he’s still tearing up stuff, my other roommates items. So when I get home I don’t pick anything up he’s done.
Well last night I got home and there was a mess the dog made, I ignored it cus it was just torn up paper, I’m not his owner. Then my other roommates get home and seem upset that there is a mess, which I didn’t clean up. I don’t really feel bad at all cus I’m the only roommate who doesn’t have an animal. Am I the asshole for not cleaning up after Sam’s animal? He seemed pretty upset but I don’t really care, I just wonder am I being an asshole about it?
NTA. It’s good to be a nice person and help out sometimes, but ultimately it’s not your dog. If your roommate decides to move tomorrow, you may never see that dog again, so it isn’t your responsibility.
NTA
It’s not your dog. Your other roommate should ALSO not feel obligated to pick up after the dog, nor should he expect you to.
Sam, however, needs to find a new solution and needs to reimburse you and your other roommate for anything the dog has destroyed.
Have you spoken to the landlord?
Sam is the landlord sadly. He owns the house and the other roommate is his brother. I didn’t mention but maybe I should have
Perhaps it’s time to start looking for other housing. My dad had a roommate a good fifty years ago like Sam, the only solution was to move out because his dog could do no wrong. Just document whatever is yours that his dog damaged, and take lots of pictures of your space after you clean it so you have evidence. Be sure to check your rental agreement and local laws regarding notices or breaking leases. It’s very likely also not legal for your landlord to expect you to clean up after his pet.
Living with roommates is always challenging. It’s nice to help once in a while, when you can, but the pet is not yours and the mess is not yours. The pet’s owner needs to clean up. You have done what I would have done, which is to keep all my valuable things away from the pet.
NTA. Dogs generally don’t mess in their crates so that dog is severely distressed, he needs behavioural help or to be rehomed to deal with what sounds like Separation Anxiety. Poor pup.
NTA. When you clean up then your roommates don’t know the extent of the problem. You made it their problem to deal with and you should tell them so. Your dog. Your problem.
NTA. But a group meeting needs to be held so everyone is on the same page.
NTA. Not your dog, not your mess.
NTA.
But I recommend moving anyway. 💯there will be more drama over it. The last time I heard a mature resolution to situations like this was like… never.