This happened 7 or so years ago on Thanksgiving, I’m only posting because it’s been brought up in my brain again recently. We were having a normal Thanksgiving dinner on my dad’s side of the family. I’ve always loved spending time with them because they’re the fun side as I always had to choose between staying with my mom or my dad for holidays. Normally there’s all kinds of jokes going around and running jokes about each other in the family. I had never participated in these as I was undiagnosed Autistic/ADHD and wasn’t sure what was okay for me to say. I had finished my contract for the US military a little before. So, I’d kind of relaxed a bit from my military service. This year specifically my grandmother, who usually did all the food, was too nauseous from a health issue to be in the kitchen. My aunt and her daughter, my older cousin, took over for dinner. During this, my aunt burnt the instant brown gravy in the microwave (It happens; I’ve done it too).
I love brown gravy on my food so much during holidays. Of course I was a bit disappointed, but it’s just food. While we were eating, I made a comment of "man, this sure would be good with some gravy". Everyone laughed, my dad, my uncles, my cousins, everyone but my aunt. It was the first time I had participated in a joke with the family, and I was happy about it, feeling normal for once. She never messed up the gravy on subsequent years, but it did grow to be a running joke until the next Thanksgiving. The next year near Thanksgiving comes around and I get a call from my dad. He tells me that no one can mention brown gravy during the holidays anymore. We both thought it was stupid, my stepmom thought it was stupid. Pretty sure the whole family thought it was stupid, I know my grandmother did. This made me feel a little disheartened and torn.
My aunt is still upset about it to this day. I never really had a chance to apologize because she was fine on Christmas and didn’t say anything until Thanksgiving the next year. AITA for making a joke about my aunt messing up the gravy one time?
**Clarification**: The joke was made and laughed about for about 5 minutes on that Thanksgiving and mentioned once and laughed at for a couple minutes at the Christmas that year. Gravy was never allowed to be brought up after that because my aunt called my dad and told him that she was upset with me about it. My dad’s family still can’t even have gravy at dinners because she gets upset. I personally only made the initial joke and never brought it up again myself. My dad, uncle, her husband, and her kids were the ones to bring it up at Christmas that same year. It is not being brought up year after year, it was for 2 holidays within a month of each other.
NTA. Your joke was fine! With the right intonation and timing it would be very humorous and fun. And you clearly did that because everyone laughed. Your aunt is just a little too sensitive. I get that it bothered her, but to go so far to not let anyone mention brown gravy is TOO sensitive! Just know that you did nothing wrong. Cheers.
Your aunt needs to grow up and learn to laugh at herself. NTA
You know who didn’t laugh? Your aunt. Who did a lot of work for the family. And gets to hear the mistake brought up from year to year.
You could have made that joke and then backed off, seeing she did not enjoy it, and thanked her for all her work. YTA.
You misread the post! The comment was made 7 years ago. The very next year, before it was even brought up, they were asked not to repeat the comment again.
This is not something that is continuing to be brought up. After the first time, it hasn’t been mentioned again, other than once to ask that it not be repeated a second time.
>You misread the post!
It’s always the most outraged people who don’t read the post properly.
info do you enjoy it when people laugh about you screwing up something basic over and over for years?
NTA. The initial joke was fine. It’s not your fault the family turned it into a running joke. As long as you weren’t the one repeating it every year you’re good.
NAH
> He tells me that no one can mention brown gravy during the holidays anymore.
Simply abide by this request.
NTA, but it is long past time to smooth things over by apologizing to your aunt, both for how your original comment hurt her feelings, and for the fact that it has taken you so long to say that you wish it hadn’t.
You did nothing wrong. She should stop whining and step her gravy game up.
NTA
NAH- your was the butt of the joke and it was an important part of the meal, which she ruined. Therefore she ruined thanksgiving. See where I’m going?
I would text or call her and say something like was just thinking of how I made a crack about the gravy and then I thought it and I think I accidentally implied you ruined thanksgiving and I embarrassed you! Please tell me I didn’t, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to. Etc.
NTA. That was 7 *SEVEN!* years ago. If she can’t move on from that, she has problems.
A couple years ago, I was making chili. When I was pureeing the chilis in a blender, I took the top of to add a little extra liquid and didn’t put it all the way back on before I started it again. It shot EVERYWHERE. To this day, every so often, I find a dried speck of it on a random thing. It took a couple months for me to laugh about it and it didn’t put me of from making it again.
ETA: packet gravy? Wtf? It’s one of the easiest things to make.
I’m trying to wrap my head around making gravy in a microwave. No deglazing, no stock? I don’t get it.