This was a month ago and things have calmed down, and we still talk occasionally but it’s awkward.
My brother and SIL went on a trip recently, and he got a specific souvenir snack for me. They knew it was for me, it was in a group chat. They came back and I found out SIL ate half of it, and gave the rest away. It’s not expensive (like $3 ea), but it was the one thing I looked forward from my brother… My brother packed it for me, not realizing she had opened and cleared it while leaving the empty bag where it was. He almost gave me a bag of empty snack boxes.
I told SIL that I hate her selfish personality and her siblings probably feel the same way. Little did I know, her younger siblings did stop contacting her after a similar confrontation. She didn’t take this too well and I was sorry about it assuring I wouldn’t do that same. (Plz let me know if this breaches rule 8.1, this is for the purpose of context and not action taken by either sides for the comparison) They went to their room. I dropped off their groceries, cleaned up and left feeling part angry part confused.
While I didn’t feel great about her sibling situation, it was frustrating to me. I don’t want to confront her about it again since finding out its sensitive for her, but I also needed a place to vent. I’m just torn being angry at her and myself at the same time, and was hoping to find some closure here.
NTA no need to be a doormat. Calling out terrible behaviour should not make you feel guilty.
Nta. Definitely needed to be called out.
NTA. It’s human to be frustrated but it’s always important to communicate with others. Sure you could’ve have worded it better but it’s important that they know what they did wasn’t ok.
She’s a shitty person whose selfish and inconsiderate, nothing wrong with letting her know it. Don’t feel bad for telling some they are shitty when they are infact shitty.
Op, you are NTA.
There is obviously a pattern of behaviour, SIL needs to think about her actions
Well apparantly she hasn’t learned yet about action and consequences, since her siblings washed their hands of her.
NTA for calling her out on eating the snacks.
Don’t bring others into any argument in a “yeah, and they hate you, too” kind of way. It’s juvenile.
Eating/giving away the snack your brother brought home for you was definitely a crappy thing for his wife to do. But I don’t understand what that has to do with her relationship with her siblings. I think this might be an E S H, but first I’ll say INFO:
When you found out she ate the snacks that weren’t hers and told her you don’t like her, why did you say that her siblings also probably don’t like her? Especially if, as you seem to imply, you were unaware there was any issue there until after you made the comment?
ESH. She was out of line, but so were you. You escalated massively and dragged in her family. She needed to be talked to, but that was cruel and unnecessary.
NTA This is a pattern she does and you did nothing wrong. She’s upset because she got called out. Don’t feel bad and don’t apologize. Hopefully this will help her not do it again.
NTA but it sounds like she is an AH. You’re letting her manipulate you. She is now playing the victim. People who don’t want to be called “selfish” should not behave selfishly.
You shouldn’t have mentioned her siblings, but you were right to have a problem with her behavior.
OP what did brother say when he found out his wife ate your snacks and left an empty bag?
NTA You should have dropped off her groceries half eaten!