My friend, let’s call her A, was telling me how she’s worried & not thrilled that we are getting married a month apart. I had told her that my fiancé and I want to keep our dating anniversary so we will be getting married Oct 2027. She had mentioned that she was looking to get married sometime in Sept 2027. (We have a specific date in Oct picked, she’s looking at venues with availability in the last three weeks of Sept). I excitedly told our group of friends that my fiancé and I committed to Oct 2027. Everyone was excited, except for A. A couple days later she told me that me choosing a month after her limits her time to shine, puts strain on our cross over guests, & potentially stresses honeymoon plans for her. It really caught me off guard because I didn’t even consider that a month apart would be too close together? Sept & Oct temps and vibes vary wildly, so I didn’t think to alert her before our sharing with our friends.
I also want to add that A and I share 3 “close” friends. The five of us get together every month for a monthly debrief, but I am closest with two other girls in the group. The cross over for the wedding would just be this group of girls & their SO’s. My best friend, let’s call her Z, is also A’s best friend, so there is bridal party cross over, but Z is totally fine with the wedding being a month apart. I’m not sure the best way to handle this because if roles were flipped this would’ve been a non-issue for me.
Any advice or feedback is appreciated.
NTA. You are allowed to get married whenever you want. “Her time to shine”? Just LOL.
My two best friends from high school got married a week apart, huge friend group cross over. First friend just pushed her honeymoon out a week and a half.
I feel like this is a non issue for most people. NTA.
Ugh.
It’s a whole month.
NTA I wouldn’t care if my friend got married two days after me. Friends support each other. Also that’s your special date so no you are NTA. Also congratulations on getting married hope you both have the best life together!
NTA
She needs to get over herself.
Her “time to shine” ends when her wedding does.
NTA
She doesn’t get to control your wedding. Being charitable, she may just be in early “my wedding is the most important day in the world to everyone concerned” stage. In which case she’ll either calm down and it will all be fine, or not and you may lose a friend.
NTA. She is being a drama queen. You can have your wedding when you want
My daughters got married 6 weeks apart and there were plenty of cross over guests. No one complained and no one was ‘out shone’. Your friend is being over sensitive. Tell her to get over it. My girls had a great time talking about who was doing what. If anything it brought them closer. Both wedding were very different and everyone enjoyed them both. If sisters can do it without drama, friends should be able to. Enjoy your day, do not let her tarnish it.
NTA
She gets one day for her wedding. She does not get to dictate the date of anyone else’s.
NTA. Your weddings aren’t competitions
NTA, as said many times here. She gets ONE DAY! Not a month or two, just one day to be special and then it is back to everybody’s own life.
NTA. She’s being silly. If you were trying to get married a week apart, I’d get the issue, but a month is fine.
These posts make me laugh. I come from a big Greek family where people were literally having weddings on the same weekend (one on Saturday, the other on Sunday) let alone a month apart. They’d have the same guests and sometimes were even at the same venue. You’d even see guests wearing the same outfits!
You have a date picked out. Your friend does not, so she is the person causing her own issue here. What the heck?
Oh! I get it now!! She is upset because she doesn’t want to have your wedding pre-parties conflict with hers! She doesn’t want to have to make her plans around your showers, dress-shopping, bachelorette, and whatever else young brides feel is part of their Wedding Experience nowadays. Plus you will have bridesmaids in common who will then balk at shelling out huge amounts of money for parties, dresses, whatever for two weddings in the friend group.
Nonetheless, a couple gets to have their wedding DAY “special”. **They do not get a Wedding Month, a Wedding Season, or a Wedding Year.** Additionally, no bride gets to dictate when or if her bridesmaids get pregnant, schedule necessary medical procedures , lose weight, etc.
NTA. She is.