So a few weeks ago I got into a minor physical disagreement (aka he tried taking a vape out of my hand and I tried pulling it away ending with me being scratched) with my dad over my addictions. I told my teacher who has said time and time again to all her classes you can come to me if you ever need to talk, and so I did. I opened up like the hold it had on me and I’ve done this in the past no problem especially when it’s eating me alive and this time it was one of those times. Usually we just talk and nothing happens
Well this time she called cps when I asked her about it today (I didn’t find out they were called until a few days ago even then didn’t know who I found out it was her today) I wanted to ask so she could tell me why she decided to make the report not as an anger thing or sadness I just wanted to respectfully understand where she was coming from she said that she didn’t want me to go to her anymore and that she didn’t want to talk with me really shitty like not casual like almost pissed or how dare you ask mind you she’s said multiple times anyone can and even runs a like addiction stopping club at my school she said it very dismissively though we were in the hall and she kept walking not looking at me and said I’m only supposed to talk to you about school work don’t bother me about that sorta thing and I had her class that period all I did was sit there and I had to suck it up.
I feel like she was just trying to show power because if she was uncomfortable with it she could have told me or told the guidance counselor to talk with me she didn’t need to go to the extreme of getting cps involved when everything is fine at home she knows I have depression too and a therapist I’m not using cause of mistreatment at home and she knows that and also because she couldn’t give me a respectful answer she could have said I don’t want to talk to you about why I did and I would have backed off she didn’t need to sound so defensive and shitty
Before I would tell her all the awful things my sister would say to me (she would tell me l should off myself and she would do it too and told me her plans on how she would off me) yet no cps call l’ve told her the exact same thing about my addictions yet before no cps call
I don’t know what she’s trying to establish before she was all nice now she’s being cruel l told my therapist and she even said it was crazy and that shouldn’t have happened
I just want to reiterate no abuse was involved, neglect etc everything has been fine
What was the point
Was she just being a dick to establish power
Addictions as in weed (like high everyday) sh drinking and a really bad nic addiction too
If she is your teacher, depending on your age and where you live, she might be a mandated reporter and therefore required by law to report things to CPS
Your teacher is a mandated reporter. She likely felt that what you told her indicated you were at-risk, even if you didn’t use the words “abuse” or “neglect.” Because of that, she is required to report it.
I mean, you’re downplaying a LOT and she is a mandated reporter.
Look up the term “mandated reporter.” If you’re in the US, your teacher is one. If she hadn’t made the report she could be fired.
My guess is that she hadn’t reported before because she hadn’t been properly trained in when to report. At some point, she figured it out.
NAH, just a mess.
NAH, I can understand you being upset and it’s good you have a therapist. Teachers are mandated reporters. She could have been in trouble if it was discovered she had known and hadn’t reported it, especially if harm had come to you. I hope you get a handle on things and have a good future.
She’s a mandated reported. She legally has to report the ‘minor physical altercation’ even if you don’t think its abuse. I wasn’t there but I don’t think she did this out of spite
Calls are supposed to be anonymous to the family. Teachers are mandatory reporters. There must have been something said that made her fearful for your situation or that warranted further investigation by CPS. I am leaning toward YTA for questioning her. She shouldn’t have been placed in a position to have to answer to you. She can fear for her safety or retaliation as well. It’s a big risk for any educator to call CPS, like sometimes abuse at house gets worse etc.
Here’s the thing. She did have to call cps. Teachers are mandated reporters. That means if they get any information whatsoever that abuse or neglect may be occurring, they are required by law to report it. They are not allowed to make judgment calls on this. They cannot decide they don’t think it rises to the level of abuse. If they hear it, they must report it. You said this was a “minor physical disagreement.” The second it got physical, no matter how minor, she had absolutely no choice.
That said, that does not justify the way she’s treating you after the fact. That must really feel like shit. I am very sorry that someone you trusted is now being dismissive of you. That call to cps shouldn’t have impacted her interactions with you, and I’m so sorry that is happening.
NAH. Teachers are mandatory reporters. If any student shares anything about being harmed or abused with us, we are legally required to report it. It’s also the right thing for her to have done. She probably feels a lot of feelings about the call, they are usually very tough to make. I remember each one I’ve had to make in vivid detail.
She’s probably a mandated reporter, but if CPS determined there was no abuse, your father or mother may have called the school and accused her of false reporting.
YTA you got into a physical altercation with your father over drugs and then told a mandatory reporter. She was obligated to call CPS.
Yes they have no choice. Having a family member say terrible things to you, make you feel bad or insult you – that’s hard to take action on. But when it becomes physical it has to be reported.
There are laws which take precedence over whatever you feel. That’s a thing to learn well and learn early in life.
NTA but your teacher is not an asshole either.
Your teacher is probably young and optimistic and wants to help.
But she just learned the hard way what being a mandated reporter is and she’s decided that getting involved in people’s personal lives is probably a really bad idea.
A mandated reporter is anyone in a job where they have a responsibility or any authority over vulnerable people. Or just people getting help. Teachers, nurses, cops and many more are all mandated reporters.
If you’re a mandated reporter, you have to report any type of violence that is reported to you. If you don’t you can be criminally charged.
Your teacher probably wanted people to come vent to her, she probably did want to help but once you reported that her hands were tied and she had to report it. She is probably now re-thinking her stance on “everyone come talk to me about any issues you’re having.” Because she now realizes that she could wind up being subpoenaed, going to court, and being a part of criminal proceedings. Which is a whole lot more than what she wanted. She wanted to be supportive and listen and offer some advice. She’s realizing that it isn’t that simple and like all the wide-eyed teachers before her, she is backing away.
None of this is on you though, I mean the fact that she had to report it and now doesn’t want to talk to you. I’m really sorry for what you’re going through and I really hope you can find the help you need.
And really just keep trying. Talk to a mental health professional or even a general practitioner. Just start somewhere. But to be honest most teachers are not in a position to offer real addiction treatment or support.
PS I’m basing almost all of my comments on the assumption that you can go to school in America. Sorry if that’s not the case and I wasted your time.