I am autistic.
My girlfriend (20F) and I (20M) were at a party with a new group of friends, playing truth-or-dare. Almost nobody in the group except for 2 other people knows that we’re a couple yet. When it was my turn somebody asked me“Who do you think is the prettiest girl here?” I thought about it and then I answered honestly and said it was one of the girls who was sitting directly opposite me. My girlfriend immediately got pissed and excused herself.
Afterwards, I chased her to explain privately. I told her I wasn’t saying she’s not beautiful, and that beauty isn’t a competition. I said that there’s factually always someone who looks better, smarter, fitter, etc. and I was just telling the truth when someone was asking me for the truth. I tried to explain that I literally can’t lie about things like this because it feels dishonest, and that my brain processes things very literally, so I was just stating facts, not opinions. I wanted her to understand that I wasn’t trying to hurt her, but she was still hurt and said I embarrassed her and made her feel insecure.
I think part of the awkwardness came from the fact that most of the people in the group doesn’t even know we’re together. From her perspective, it probably looked like I was flirting with someone else in front of strangers rather than just answering honestly in a game.
She says I’m inconsiderate. I struggle with social cues, so I genuinely didn’t anticipate that telling a literal truth could be so emotionally charged. I wasn’t trying to be cruel, but I get that honesty without tact can come across that way. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s been 2 days since it’s happened and she hasn’t spoken to me normally.
Part of me thinks I did nothing wrong because I didn’t insult anyone and I was just stating facts. Another part of me knows I could have considered her feelings more and maybe stayed quiet. AITA for answering honestly in a game?
I hope you didn’t tell her that it’s just a “literal truth” that the other girl is prettier
YTA and you know it. There’s no way that you didn’t know that telling her there’s always a better option than her would be an insult. This has nothing to do with your autism; you just wanted to hurt her.
You can’t- at 20 – say missing social cues means you can’t comprehend how the truth can hurt people’s feelings. In 20 years you’ve never once noticed that?
Yes YTA here
YTA, I hope you learned that this is something you should never do. Never say another girl is prettier than your girlfriend. You can lie to do it, that’s fine.
>Who do you think is the prettiest girl here?” I thought about it and then I answered honestly and said it was one of the girls who was sitting directly opposite me. My girlfriend immediately got pissed and excused herself.
I think not even my 6 years old daughter would get this wrong but a grown ass man with his girl in the same room, got it wrong and wrote a novel to defend himself calling it facts.
YTA
Yeah so learning curve here, if your girlfriend/wife/whatever asks you if they’re the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen the answer is yes followed by an explanation of why. Defintely do not ever be that blunt on that topic again
You know how they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder? It’s because beauty is subjective, there is no fact only opinion. So when you state another girl is more beautiful than your gf, you are saying that in your opinion, she’s more beautiful than your gf.
You hurt your gf’s feelings. Tell her that you’re sorry and also, you two shouldn’t hide your relationship, that secretiveness almost always leads to this kind of jealously and insecurity.
I’m going yta, I don’t think in a big way but your logic is faulty.
YTA and leave the poor girl alone
Your girlfriend is correct, you are an asshole.
” so I was just stating facts, not opinions” that is such horseshit. Who is prettier is 100% just your opinion, and you appeared to be flirting with another girl in front of her. Don’t be surprised if she dumps you, dude. You deserve it
YTA
The problem is it’s not the literal truth. It’s not a fact. Beauty is subjective. I like brunettes. Other people like blondes. Yes, you are autistic, but you need to realize that your opinion isn’t the same as a fact.
It’s like saying it’s cold or hot in here. Different people have different ideals. And you publicly stated that she was not your ideal.
YTA. Come on man. This is an easy one. I’m a literal person too but…come on. Btw beauty is not a factual matter, it’s based on subjective preferences. And clearly your girlfriend wants to hear that your subjective preference is for her. All opinion, not fact.
Starting off with “i am autistic” as if its some excuse you can use for everything. Grow up. YTA
Dude dont use your autism as an excuse to be an asshole.