So me (25)f & my fiance (28)m are getting married in April of 2027. My older sister and her boyfriend are planning on getting pregnant sometime in the near future! This is great! However she keeps changing when shes going to start trying and isn’t considering my wedding! I have told her time and time again that i dont care if she is pregnant at my wedding like at all but if shes planning on getting pregnant, I’d rather her try to not be 9 months in the month of my wedding so that she does the miss it because i want my sister there!! Now if things happen i do get it but she is talking like she is planning set in stone to be 9 months at my wedding! Ive changed my date now twice because of her time line but she keeps changing her mind and now our venue is booked! Is it wrong for me to ask that if shes planning her pregnancy (to the best of her abilities) , thats she at least not be about to pop in the case that it causes her to miss my wedding? If it were roles reversed, she would be pissed! I know no one can predict when they get pregnant/have a child but its the principle of her telling me every time i change the date, thats now it adds up to being 9 months every single time. It just feels intentional!
YTA. You live your life, let her live her’s. Don’t reschedule, and don’t expect her to either. There’s also no guarantee she will have an easy time conceiving, carrying to term, or any of that.
ESH. Stop asking her about her family planning, and she should stop trying to make you angry by attempting to schedule her pregnancy to coincide with your wedding.
This is something you should just ignore. If she’s 9 months pregnant, two weeks postpartum, or in the throes of first-trimester morning sickness at your wedding, you’ll just deal with it. Most people are not so lucky in conception that they can pick their due date prior to conception. She can aim for your wedding month, but she probably will not succeed.
Have a great wedding, and if she’s there, she’s there. If she’s not, she’s not.
It’s fair to wish it but It’s weird to be involved in someone else’s family planning . Also to both of you.., it’s really not that easy to just pick a random month and perfectly pick your conception date . I think this shouldn’t be a yta/Nta debate until a child exists to worry about . Enjoy your wedding .
YTA her family planning doesn’t revolve around you. It’s great that you want her to not miss your wedding but your wedding isn’t the most important thing in her life. Even if she does try to time it out, who knows how long it’ll take her to conceive and who knows if the baby will be born term.
YTA. You aren’t entitled to demand her presence at your wedding, just as she wouldn’t be entitled to demand that you change your wedding date to accommodate her pregnancy. As I understand your post, she’s never tried to get you to change the date; you’re the one who has taken it upon yourself to shift the dates to accommodate your own desire to have her there. That’s a you problem. Don’t put it on her.
NTA for wanting her there, but stop moving your date! Tell her the venue is locked in for April 2027 and while you’d love her to be there, you understand she has to prioritize her family planning if her timing means she misses the big day, that is ultimately her choice to make.
YTA
your wedding is a celebration for you and your partner and only as important as you make it – you’ll be engaged before and married after, the details of the day don’t matter so much as the outcome – nothing much will change, really
Her giving birth is going to be the start of a massive change to her life and the life of everyone directly around her, and the health and eventual happiness of her baby can depend on the timing of her pregnancy – and her pregnancy in general
You’re putting your wedding before the birth of her child.
YTA
>she keeps changing when shes going to start trying and isn’t considering my wedding!
Dude. She is planning *when to bring a human being into the world that she will be responsible for keeping alive for at least eighteen years*.
She had a *lot* of important things to consider to make that decision. You know what she doesn’t need to consider? What timeline works for *you*.
YTA it is so not up to you to decide when she should get pregnant
YTA. It’s quite inappropriate and not very considerate to insert yourself into her family planning.
ESH
You both know it doesn’t work that way, right? You can’t order a pregnancy according to your schedule.
Your sister needs to stop stringing you along by changing “dates”. And you should probably myob here.
It’s great you want her there, but neither of of you gets to choose how the other one lives her life.
Book the venue for a date that works for you and your partner. Shut up about her family planning. Now and in the future. It’s none of your business and chances are, it’s gonna take a bit anyway.
you keep changing the date of your wedding based on when your sister MIGHT be pregnant???
You tried to get your point across, now you have to let it go. If she cannot be at your wedding because of a pregnancy/birth, you will survive. Stop changing your dates for her, stop talking about it. What happens happens and if she ends up missing your wedding, be sure to pretend that you simply do not care at all about it. LOL It could be that she’s enjoying the power you are giving her to interfere with YOUR wedding plans. NTA
“Hey everyone! Put your entire life on hold! I’m throwing a party!” YTA