I (23F) live with my roommate Sophia (22F) and we’ve been sharing an apartment for about a year. We split rent evenly and haven’t had any major issues until recently. We mostly do our own thing but share common spaces like the living room and kitchen. A few weeks ago, I started spending more time in the living room in the evenings to relax after work. Usually this means sitting on the couch, watching TV at a normal volume, or having a light on while I read or scroll on my phone. This is typically between around 8–10 PM. I don’t stay up late in the living room and I’m mindful of noise. Sophia recently told me that this bothers her. She said she prefers the living room to be quiet and dim in the evenings and that my being in there makes it harder for her to relax even when she’s in her bedroom. She asked if I could stop using the living room during that time or keep it to very short periods. I told her I didn’t think that was fair. The living room is a shared space, I’m not being loud, and I’m using it at a reasonable hour. I offered compromises like keeping the TV volume lower or using headphones but I said I wasn’t willing to completely avoid the living room or significantly change how I use it. Sophia got upset and said I was being inconsiderate and only thinking about myself. Since then, things have felt tense, and she’s made a few comments about me taking over the apartment, which wasn’t my intention at all. I feel bad that she’s stressed but I also don’t think it’s reasonable for one roommate to dictate how shared spaces are used when the behavior isn’t excessive.
AITA?
NTA unless she doesn’t had a bedroom door for some reason.
NTA. It’s a shared common area. If she wants to set those kinds of boundaries she should probably live by herself.
Exactly. Shared space means shared use, not “avoid it because I want specific vibes.
OP already offered compromises. Expecting someone to not use the living room at 8pm because it affects your mood from another room is unreasonable.
Sophia needs to live alone or find a roommate okay with tip-toeing around.
NTA. Honestly sounds like she wants to live alone but can’t afford it. That’s not your fault. Using the living room at night is normal adult behavior, not taking over the apartment
NTA, roomate can simply put in headphones at that time if it bothers her that much, as OP said its a shared space and shouldnt be decided by just one roomate, wouldnt be fair to do so.
NTA
She can’t dictate how you use a shared space, especially when she isn’t in it. Sounds like she needs to live on her own.
You’re NTA. Most people chill in the living room and you’re not doing anything disruptive or unreasonable.
What’s next on her list, no cooking in the kitchen?
Wow look at you staying up until 10 pm in the shared living space watching TV or reading a book or doom scrolling on your mobile. You need to point out to Sophia the examples of poor roommate behaviour on reddit.
Since you mentioned, you’ve started spending more time in the living room, is Sophia annoyed that she now has to share the space? Tell Sophia, if she want’s you not to use the living room, you’ll be paying 1/3 of the rent because it’s not a shared space anymore, it’s Sophia’s.
NTA
>staying up until 10 pm in the shared living space watching TV or reading a book
Absolutely out of control
NTA. This is called living with people. Firstly, 10pm is not outrageous. Pretty standard. Secondly, what if someone had to come back late at night or leave for a night shift or something? You’re fine. Your housemate needs to adapt.
NTA. Assuming that you actually keep the tv volume reasonable (and you’ve even offered to use headphones, so that really shouldn’t be an issue), Sophia demanding that conditions change in a room *that she’s not even using* is way out of bounds. Definitely NTA.
NTA. I was also the kind of roommate who hated people using the shared space so much, but that was a me thing and I knew I had no grounds to complain. I live on my own now and it’s fantastic. I sympathise with your roommate but she does just have to accept that living communally means you don’t have control over the whole space.
NTA. “The only two rooms either of us have definitive control over are our own rooms. I am not allowed in yours and vice versa without permissions. The rest of the house? It’s shared and communal for a reason. That’s like asking me not to pee past 9, or eat past 9 because you’re uncomfortable with noise. That’s unreasonable. I’m not abusing the use of the room. I’m not partying. I’m not dancing and singing aloud. I’m using it as it should be used. If it bugs you that much, keep your door closed and put on a white noise machine. But I’m using the room. You’re welcome to come out and use it as well. I don’t feel comfortable with you expanding your domain out to cover not using a room I have normal access to during certain hours because of something that’s a you thing, not a me thing.”
NTA. Her request is ridiculous. She can close her door and mind her business. She is trying to control your access to your living space