My boyfriend and I went on a trip within the country. While we were there, I wanted to buy a guitar. My budget was $200, but the one I wanted ended up costing $280. He offered to pay half, and I agreed. He asked me to pay for it first and said he would send me his half later.
Toward the end of the trip, I bought him his late Christmas gift the latest AirPods. He was still planning to send me the money for the guitar, but I told him it was fine and that instead I would like an Apple Watch. He asked if was happy with a secondhand one, I said yes.
Yesterday he bought me an Apple Watch, which I was grateful for at first, but I later realised it was a second-hand Apple Watch Series 3 that cost around $40. I know he has been tight on money, but part of me feels like he could have waited and bought a better one later. Now I’m wondering if I’m being ungrateful for feeling this way. He bought the watch about two months after our original conversation, and by that point I had honestly forgotten about wanting one. The reason I suggested using the money he owed me for half of the guitar toward an Apple Watch was because I thought it would go toward a newer model, especially since his own Apple Watch is one of the latest versions.Aitah for feeling this way ?
Throughout relationship I’ve always been considerate, I’ve never asked or demanded for things, I’ve always talked about keeping things 50/50 as we’re still young adults trying to find our feet.
Update: Paying for the extra on the guitar myself would have absolutely fine but he kindly offered to pay for it, once again he told me he would send me the money back when we got back, I told him – don’t worry you can use the money ($140) to get me an Apple Watch. He goes to this second hand shop often and I know he’s able to find good deals, when he asked if secondhand was okay I’m assuming it’s a newer version but secondhand. it’s not necessarily about him being tight on money, it’s him emphasising on multiple occasions that he would pay me back/ get me the Apple Watch. I also want to mention early along in our relationship he did something similar, he said he overly encouraged me to get something at a dress shop roughly worth $80 and said he would pay half. I don’t mind paying for half of things or for the full price but what stands out is that he repeatedly offers or insists on paying and then doesn’t follow through.
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NTA if he owed you $140 and paid it back with a $40 relic, that’s not a gift that’s creative accounting.😀
She bought herself a gift, he doesn’t really owe her anything. Like he literally gained nothing from offering to go in on a guitar for her, whether or not he went through with it.
~~INFO: How old are you people~~
ESH based on that reply of 25 and 27. Gifts are gifts, not bartering tools for “money owed.”
Yeah it sounds exhausting.
YTA
He got what you told him you wanted, within the conditions you accepted.
If you wanted a specific iteration of the watch you should have made that clear.
I personally think you shouldn’t have to lawyer up to talk to your boyfriend about presents. A series 3 is 9 years old, it’s a crappy present unless OP was into collecting old apple devices or something.
Yeah seems crazy to think you need to be so specific when you’re telling someone they can use the $140 they owe you to buy you something instead. Obviously you’d expect for them to understand that the value of what they buy you should be close to what they owe you and a used newer model would be close to the value that he owed.
She wanted an apple watch. She agreed second hand was okay. The dude can’t read minds. If she wanted and expected a newer model she needs to say that.
Instead of paying the $140 dollars he said he would he paid you $40 dollars 9 year old device electronic device, which is the way smart devices/compatibility and planned obsolesce works is pretty useless. The explanation that makes the most sense to me was he was trying to find a loophole to get out of paying the money he promised. But who wants a partner who is treating you as someone to get one over on instead of treating well & communicating clearly. IMO he’s an AH not because (maybe) he can’t afford the $140 but because he’s trying to trick you.
NTA
YTA. You really should have expressed your specific expectations… he’s not a mind reader and bought what you agreed to.
ESH I don’t see why you’re both buying christmas gifts in March unless money was an issue in December in which case wtf are you spending money on stuff like guitars and apple watches?
I don’t see why money owed is being subbed out for a gift that seems to have been a given anyways.
I don’t see why you xould afford 200 on airpods but not an extra 80 for your guitar.
You’re both irresponsible with money based of this post.
He really cheaper out but again you didn’t care about what watch it was until you saw the price tag