I (17F) have a sister (18F) she has got two diagnosises PTSD and Autism. She’s always been quite sensitive to loud sudden noises because of her autism as a child. But after her PTSD a loud noise will send her into a panic attack sometimes or make her really scared..
My sister is unable to go to school or work because of health issues. So she’s at home alone all day a lot of the time.
I like to online shop. I buy clothes and jewellery and shoes and hair accessories every day. Because I don’t really repeat outfits very much. And like to change things up. Often the packages come while I’m at school. And she’s at home.
The delivery people in my area are known to be quite unprofessional. There’s been times they’ve opened the door and put the package inside the house which really scared my sister. Also they sometimes knock incredibly loud. Which scares my sister that something bad is happening
Sometimes she’ll be too scared to go answer the door. But sometimes she will collect the package. But apparently it makes her shake and freeze from fear every time.
She confronted me a few weeks ago saying 4 packages arrived in the span of a few hours. And she really hates knocks and it makes her have panic attacks. I still kept ordering packages but now my mother has told me that my sister is really upset. Because she got woken up yesterday morning at 10 am with 2 huge bangs on the door. And she was apparently calling her panicking saying she’s really scared it’s so loud. Then while she was on the phone a third knock happened and she started crying.
So I had to go to the post office because they sent one of the packages back to the post office and one was left in the rain. I was pretty annoyed. My sister didn’t open the door.
It seems unreasonable to be this scared of getting a package. My parents are telling me to only get packages that say they’ll be delivered at a time she or my parents will be home so she doesn’t have to open the door so much but a lot of the time they do arrive early in the day. And sometimes you have to pay more to pick certain times.
I don’t think it’s a big deal but my parents are saying I’m being selfish and my sisters been through a lot and I’m being mean. Which yeah I know she has but I think she needs to start evolving to the world. Packages are a normal part of life. She needs to get used to loud noises especially door knocks.
Am I really the AH here?
YTA.
‘So I had to go to the post office because they sent one of the packages back to the post office and one was left in the rain. I was pretty annoyed. My sister didn’t open the door.’
That would be YOUR problem. You’re ordering packages to be delivered while you’re not home; that’s on you. Your sister is not responsible for any of this.
‘My parents are telling me to only get packages that say they’ll be delivered at a time she or my parents will be home so she doesn’t have to open the door so much but a lot of the time they do arrive early in the day. And sometimes you have to pay more to pick certain times.’
This is perfectly reasonable and is exactly what you should do. Pay more. It’s not your sister’s problem.
‘I don’t think it’s a big deal’
Yea, because it isn’t affecting you. You’ve made what should be your problem (receiving deliveries) your sister’s problem.
4 packages a day? I have none of these conditions and if i was expected to pick up a bunch of shit from the door every day for my shopaholic sister id be pretty annoyed too tbh. Yta. Why dont they leave the packages at the door quietly like any irher delivery. This whole thing reeks of fakeness.
YTA
Tell your parents to get you a drop box at the local UPS/USPS. It seems like your sister is going through enough without you adding more to her plate.
Ohhh YTA big time – also consider therapy considering your shopping addiction.
yta, for good old overconsumption + how you treat your sister
YTA. I’m not even going to ask where you’re getting all the money to spend so extravagantly.
But if I were the parent and the source of your spending money, I would cut it off if you can’t be considerate enough to schedule the deliveries at a better time or have them sent to a drop location. Or learn to actually go to a store and buy things.
>I had to go to the post office because they sent one of the packages back to the post office and one was left in the rain.
Bless your heart.
>I think she needs to start evolving to the world.
Hmm… sounds like you really don’t care how your want of toys and luxuries delivered to your door impact your sister.
Let me guess, you also think things like depression are just something in people’s head and not actually big deal right?
YTA, you sincerely lack empathy and you should be concerned about that
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YTA, “it seems unreasonable to be on the spectrum or to have a mental illness, cause it really impacts my life in an awful way, that I have to go pick up my own packages, instead of scaring my poor sister and making her open the door 4 times a day, even though I know it scares her to death”
Absolutely YTA. You are essentially asking your sister to do a favour for you, multiple times a day, that causes her severe distress. Your asking for these favours for no good reason (you don’t like to repeat outfits? Jeez, grow up and smell the environmental damage) and you’re not even actually asking her in the first place, you’re just assuming she should do it because she’s at home.
She’s at home because she’s too disabled to be working or in education, not just because she feels like lying around all day getting your post. She’s not your butler, she’s a person trying to learn how to live with her disabilities and you are repeatedly and deliberately making her life worse because it inconveniences you slightly to pick up your packages somewhere else or have them delivered when you or your parents are home.
This is incredibly selfish behaviour and you need to apologise to your sister, arrange to get your parcels yourself, and have a word with yourself about your over consumption.
YTA
Overconsumption – Also, learn how to save your money. You don’t NEED to buy every. single. day and trust me, you’re going to feel so bad when you’re on your own and broke AF because you have no idea how to manage your money.
If you can’t get your packages yourself, find another solution. It’s really, REALLY selfish and bratty to continue doing it when you know your sister has a very hard time with it through no fault of her own.
There are things you can work on, there are things she can’t control. Do better.
YTA. If you have the money for all these packages, buy a post office box & get your shit delivered there. I feel sorry for your sister having to live with you.
“I dont really repeat outfits very much” is some of the craziest shit ive ever heard.