My partner (FTM 24) and I (MTF 20) recently went on a trip to his hometown. His clothes got a little mixed up in mine, so when I did laundry I just threw them all in together. My sister (F 25) had laundry in the dryer, and I didn’t clear it out completely because the light wasn’t on. When the load was done I dumped it on my bed and crawled in bed to sleep. Sometimes laundry makes its way onto the floor when I do this and unfortunately some of what i thought were my partner’s underwear fell on the floor along with a pair of shorts.
I still live with my parents, but i’m not home a lot as the situation isn’t entirely great and i really like my bf so it’s easier to be at his place as much as possible. During a 3 day stint at his place my sister went in my room and found the underwear. she was very upset by this, furthermore it triggered her PTSD of which i don’t have any context but it breaks my heart that someone has foisted that trauma onto her.
So I get home, hang out with my dad (M 58), for a while, and my sister and mother (F 55) get home at the same time. we eventually had dinner, sat and ate for a good 20 minutes, I was almost done eating when my father said something along the lines of “alright do we want to talk about it now? \[sister\] do you want to lead this?”
I was taken aback as I hadn’t thought i’d done anything to warrant this but all eyes were locked onto me. My sister shoved her phone in my face and showed me the picture of the panties atop my clean (but on the floor) shorts, and said they were hers, and that i was disgusting for wearing them. I was horrified by the accusation, and I tried to explain that they were probably my boyfriend’s, and that i’d thrown his dirty clothes in with mine for a load.
Instead of connecting the dots with my family that I didn’t clear out the dryer all the way, and i’m not super familiar with all of my boyfriends underwear so it was reasonable for me to assume they were his, I was attacked and the conversation started to go in circles. I was having a panic attack and flashing back to family therapy which was basically just me back in the day just getting blamed for shit.
So i left, and sped off to the nature preserve near my house to collect myself. It was cold, perfect to help center myself, and before I went my walk i texted and called my boyfriend. he said to come loiter at his work, and I said I would be there soon-ish. I went on the walk, it was damn cold, too cold to be of any real help with my anxiety, and drove to his work.
I sat in the parking lot for just about 20 minutes before going inside, and in that time my mother called me. I almost let it go to voicemail, and i fucking should’ve as she just explained the situation which i had just experienced to me like i was a small child, and i ended up yelling at her about how she and my sister bring things up literal weeks ahead of when they want to deal with them.
so, am i the asshole for doing my laundry in the dark?
EDIT- will supply screenshots for proof upon request
YTA. Couldn’t keep going after “i threw clean clothes on the bed and then slept”. You didn’t DO the laundry at all. This is one of the more childish posts I’ve read
Edit: went back and read the rest, and it just got worse. Holy fuck.
YUP!
Stop the crappy fiction
YTA
You didn’t even DO the laundry
You took laundry that wasn’t even yours, mixed it in with yours, then threw it all on the bed, and some of it ended up on the floor. None of it was folded or put away. That’s not “doing the laundry”
You couldn’t have taken a minute to turn on the light and take her stuff out before putting your stuff in?
If someone else has laundry in the dryer I take the clean laundry and leave it in their room. I don’t just throw my stuff in.
You threw your stuff in with hers, you should have at least taken her stuff out and left it in her room.
If my sisters clothing ended up mixed in with mine I’d just leave it in her room, no issues. What happened between you two that her first assumption is thar you did something creepy with her underwear and she had to get your dad involved?
i couldn’t touch the door without it making noise and waking my sister OR use a light at all without waking my sister. I tried to clear the laundry but a single piece of her clothing was left again because i couldn’t use a light without being yelled at. also my bf is fine with it we mix our stuff at his house??
edit- glad your sister is willing to communicate with you it makes life easier i bet
Is the laundry in her room? How could you not use a light?
Your bf might be fine with it but your sister isn’t.
She saw her clothes in your room and got your dad involved. Is there some backstory to this?
If laundry gets mixed up at my house we just leave it in the room of the person it belongs to. No reason to get dad involved to mediate. No issues.
it illuminates the hall and gets to her door idk how but i’ve been told off for it. it’s *near* her room
edit- again glad ur family is functional
also no backstory she has ptsd and it triggered her thats all i know.
I take her stuff out first and put it in her room, then put my stuff in. I don’t just throw my stuff in with hers.
Plus there’s no reason for her to think I did something with her laundry if it ends up in my room by accident.
She sets up a whole meeting with you/your dad/her to adress the situation, and instead of talking it out you leave.
Again, fact that her first reaction was getting your dad involved because she thinks you wore her underwear is a bit odd.