Yesterday I didn’t have pockets so I gave my bf my card and he put it in his wallet. I hadn’t really been out since so my boyfriend went to work with my card still in his pocket. I got a message from the electric company today saying that our account was passed due but it wasn’t, I was unable to reach anyone, the system wouldn’t let me make a payment online, Yada yada yada.
I went up to his job when it wasn’t busy (it was just him and another clerk) I ordered food from the other clerk and then asked my bf for my payment card, he handed me the card and asked me if I was going shopping in an upbeat sort of way. I said "no unfortunately there’s something wrong with the electric bill, I don’t know. I’m trying to figure it out." He responded it in an angry way "what did you do?" I was taken aback and told him we might as well just talk about this later. He responded with "yeah don’t come up here bothering me with that sort of stuff".
This is where things went sideways. My food was ready and since there were other clerks and customers around his whole demeanor changed and he started being cheery and said in a sing-songy way "Saraah your order is ready 😃" I looked at him, grabbed my food and walked right out the door. He then texted me and said I embarrassed him not only in front of his customers but in front of his employees and to never come back up to his job again. I was actually already having a pretty rough day and something about him coming at me sideways and then trying to look cute when other people were around just completely set me off. So tell me, AITAH?
* To give a little bit more context on why he was so upset when I went and grabbed my food I had a pretty pissed look on my face. I kept my eyes down, said thank you and walked right out*
NTA. You didn’t do anything wrong.
NTA. I don’t really understand why he got angry in the first place? He embarrassed himself and you had every right to just leave afterwards. He can’t act all friendly after snapping at you like that.
NTA. You should do what he said & never come back to his job again.
Or his car.
Or his house/apartment.
Or him. At all. This is just a taste of how he reacts when he assumes you’ve done something wrong.
NTA for going to get your card back to solve the financial / bill issue.
I have… so many questions.
1) does your boyfriend work in fast food?
2) are you both young?
3) has he acted like this before?
4) do you two live together?
This may be a reach, but when he responded in an upbeat way if you were going shopping it makes me wonder if he was hoping people around him would think it was *his* card you were using for a shopping trip so he could be seen as a provider type, and when you mentioned issues with the bill not being paid that could be interpreted as him looking bad in the eyes of those around him (in his mind) because you asked him for the card – as in, he can’t provide enough to cover basic bills. Coupled with his change in attitude in delivering your food once there was ‘an audience’ again…
This feels like Mr. Trying To Come Off As A Perfect Boyfriend And Provider, when he is neither.
Which begs the questions: how misogynistic is he typically? is he quick to anger usually? does he treat you poorly in private but great in public usually?
I thought the same thing, that he was trying to seem like he was paying for a shopping spree
NTA. Be like the clerk he is and say “NEXT” to him out of self respect and find a nicer BF.
> “what did you do?”
That’s a no from me Dawg!
Having a work persona and not wanting other employees to be privy to your private life is one thing, instantly accusing you of doing something wrong absolutely not.
Unless you have a deep history of drinking away or gamboling away your rent money and you have had the electricity turned off multiple times. HELL NO.
NTA.
NTA. That whole conversation made me feel awkward as hell and I wasn’t enemies there.
NTA. Either he was embarrassed because you made it sound like you guy can’t afford electricity or he dint want his side piece seeing you.
NTA. Would a heads up have been better sure, but that doesn’t make you an AH. His reaction makes him one. It doesn’t matter *why* you needed your card, it’s yours. The simplest response from him should have been “oh shit sorry I forgot it was still in my wallet”.
I get it, online transactions don’t always go through, so you need a physical card to swipe at the utility place when you pay in person. I don’t know why that’s a hard concept for people to grasp that you can’t always use your phone with your card information.
If anything I think he was more embarrassing. The “what did you do” comment would have really embarrassed me. I also would have felt like his shopping comment was embarrassing
He responded with “yeah don’t come up here bothering me with that sort of stuff”. – DUMP HIS ASS!!! NTA you did nothing wrong..
Ditch. Him. ASAP.
NTA you do NOT treat your partner like that at your job. You do NOT get passive aggressive and territorial. Nope nope nope.
Why was he embarrassed? The “What did you do?” sounds oddly aggressive for this situation. This doesn’t really make much sense. Unless you were making a loud deal about the bill being unpaid, he totally overreacted. You’re NTA, I’d take a serious look at the relationship.