Friend and I were dating and we were suggesting Christmas presents but we broke up before Christmas, during the breakup my ex wanted to remain friends (which I was fine with) and said we could still send each other the gifts we wanted, at the time I was a bit hurt and suggested we could send each other equivalent giftcards as a platonic exchange, which is what we did during christmas and now I feel like such a massive asshole,
reddit please give it to me straight am I an asshole Im pretty sure I am but I will probably give something real to my ex (not a giftcard) during their birthday to make up for it
edit: We are still friends, relationship was never gonna workout
I’m gonna assume you’re young given the context, so the best advice you can have now is that you are broken up, and you need to move on. neither of you will get anything out of giving the original presents, as they were bought when you were dating. so no, NTA. you’ve tried it, it didn’t work, move on.
Wait what’s the conflict here? Did she say anything to indicate that you’re an ass? I’m confused by this post.
no, I know this person, they will not say anything that would indicate that I am an asshole or not,
during the breakup we agreed to remain friends and they said they still wanted to give me the gift they planned to give me, I also had something planned but was too heartbroken to think further so I just suggested something simple like giftcards
NTA. I think it was presumptuous of him to suggest gift giving so soon after a breakup. Did he really think you were going to put thought into something at that moment in time? If you genuinely have continued to be friends, then yes, get him something less transactional.
no, we agreed to stay friends, and they wanted to know my address to send something to me, but I was too heartbroken to want to put anymore effort into this person at the moment, I wanted to forget, Im a pretty stupid young individual whose never been through a breakup, very new feelings so I just suggested we send giftcards instead
for me I dont usually send platonic friends something at christmas but this person usually does so its kinda out of my personality to send anything but since I still wanted to show I care about them I suggested we essentially tone it down with the sentimental gifts since we are still friends, but now I feel like an asshole because it probably didnt mean anything to them
Definitely MOVE ON.
NTA
You arent ready to be friends. If you were just friendly, you wouldnt be feeling this way. Give yourself some space so you can actually move on
beakup happened months ago, if I said more it would go into things that arent related to this sub, we dont talk much, I dont feel as close to them as I once did and it doesnt seem they see it that way too despite the fact we are friendly whenever we do speak
INFO what is the *actual* conflict? I cannot understand your post.
receiving a gift that’s probably quite personal after freshly breaking up with someone that you’ve then agreed to be friends with seems like it would hurt both of you. NTA, the gift card made sense. Also until they stop being referred to as an “ex” and you start to see them as a friend, you should probably refrain from super personal gifts cos that’s gonna make things awkward and you’re gonna feel hurt.
Christmas was months ago. It’s over