Me and two of my friends (all of us wearing the hijab) were out on a walk in a park last week and there were a bunch of kids playing loudly. I’d say they were somewhere between 9-12 years old, they were being pretty loud and running around chasing each other but we didn’t think much of it. They were pretty clearly not white, possibly with roots from muslim countries. Me and my friends stopped for a bit maybe 50 meters away from the kids and just soaked up the sun for a bit.
A white woman, probably in her sixties walked up to us super upset and asked if we knew those kids and we told her we didn’t. She then started almost yelling at us about how loud and rude the kids are acting and that we shouldn’t accept that kind of behaviour. I once again told her that we have no connection at all to those kids but her response was just that we were standing and watching them act like hooligans and should have done something about it. My friend was acting super regretful towards the woman and basically apologizing on the kids’ behalf. The woman said that the kids were breaking things, spitting towards her and calling her a whore (to which one of the kids yelled that they hadn’t), "And you guys are just standing by and letting this happen? So you think this is acceptable behaviour?". For the third time I said that while that is horrible, we neither saw that happen or know the kids. She finally walked away muttering and stopped the next pair of people she could find and started talking to them, it didn’t seem like she was accusing them of anything though like she did to us, just warning them about the kids.
My friend seemed to think that I didn’t handle the situation correctly, that I should have been more sympathic towards the woman so she realizes that "not all of us are like them or support that kind of behaviour". That the woman was clearly upset and we should just have comforted her even though we had no connection to the kids. I get her point but also, why should I need to apologize on behalf of a bunch of random kids?
NTA
Sounds like she was looking for drama and you didn’t give it to her so she found her next victim
NTA. Those kids have nothing to do with you. Anything she wanted you to do about it, she could have done herself.
NTA. If she’s racist she’s going to be racist no matter how nice you are to her. There’s no “right” way to handle it because it isn’t your fault but if you feel capable of standing up for yourself you should. Odds she was straight up lying about the kids insulting her are pretty high and outside of that trying to stop kids from running around and making noise in one of the few designated spaces for running around and making noise in most cities is terrible (and almost definitely wouldn’t be happening if the kids were white).
Can you imagine the police and CPS involvement if you DID get involved with other people’s children and tried to discipline them? Especially if you didn’t actually witness any of it? I would have asked her if she expected you to beat some random strangers.
NTA. You should have asked her why she thought the kids were associated with you.
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NTA. Not your problem
NTA, not remotely your fault and you don’t have to coddle this random woman’s racism