Me(F) and my bestfriend(F) have been planning a trip to asia for almost a year now. it is supposed to happen in 2027. i mentioned to my boyfriend that we were planning this when me and my friend first thought about it. we both love the culture in korea and japan and want to go for 2 weeks.
tonight, i was letting my bf know what days we planned to go and immediately after i mentioned the trip he stopped me and said "do you not think its weird that you are planning a trip to go so far with just your friend and haven’t invited me". i said "well its normal for friends to plan trips together and we both love japan and korea so we decided we wanted to go". it became a whole argument and basically he was telling me the whole time its just weird i didn’t invite him on a trip that has nothing to do with him.
sooo am i the asshole in this situation..?
Nta
NTA. You’re allowed to have your own life.
NTA, sometimes you just want to have a trip with your friends. You are two separate individuals and that means you are allowed to do things without the other.
NTA. You would be though if you invited him without your friend’s consent and enthusiasm. It is wrong to plan a trip with a friend, and then introduce someone else into the plans unless you are both completely on board with that. And when it’s a significant other it can be even more difficult for the odd one out not to feel like a third wheel.
Now your boyfriend might be feeling left out, and maybe you can talk those feelings through with him if he is up for it in a non-argumentative way…. depending on how serious your relationship is you can also consider how much you actually want to do these big trips in the future without each other, etc. Depending on how the trip first got formed you can even consider if you should have included him from the start (if you were together at that point). Or even consider what kind of guy he is, and if you want to be with him. But based on where the trip is at the moment, you would be being a jerk to your friend to include him now.
NTA!! Travel with your friends, travel with your boyfriend, have seperate interests and shared interests and live your fucking life!!
NTA. Why does he need to be invited? You’re allowed to have a life outside this relationship.
It’s not weird at all. Bestie trips are totally normal. One of my best friends is married and we’ve been to Disney and Europe multiple times without her husband. He’s cool about it bc it’s girl time, friendships are important. NTA but your bf is.
INFO: is your friend male or female?
Read the post
She added those after an edit I didn’t see. How about we use some common sense.
NTA.. how long have you been with your boyfriend? That may change the answer.. also is your friend a long time friend? Male/female?
NTA – he doesn’t even have a passport and won’t get one! Is he expecting you to not travel any more?!
I don’t know how long you guys have been together but that would be a pretty big issue for me as I love to travel.
Also, as everyone else has said, in a relationship you’re still allowed your own life and can have separate friends! I’m guessing you’ve had your bestie longer than your bf. And you’re paying for the trip yourself so he can either get with the program or be gone!
For whatever reason, he’s trying to horn in on your vacation.
There’s nothing wrong with friends going on a trip without their romantic partners.
You are absolutely NTA – and if he keeps pushing the issue, you might need to reconsider the relationship.
Nta! I would be so upset if I planned a trip with my friend and they suddenly invited their boyfriend making me a third wheel. Oooooooo man I’d be pissed.