I am typing this on a phone, so I apologize if it has weird formatting, and this is my first post. I 14F have recently been feeling like my parents have been letting my older sister 17F let’s call her D, get away with a lot of things. Now I have two adopted older sisters, but my sisters birth mother did drugs when pregnant with her so she has the thoughts of a 6 year old, and my other sister, she is no longer in the picture. I am the only bio kid. Now D has recently been blasting the TV, I ask her kindly to turn it down everytime because I have very sensitive ears and I can hear it through my headphones and back in my room. But everytime I do she just tells me rudely to ‘fuck off’. Now I also have anger issues that I am working on, so I take deep breaths, and when I do she starts to mock me. Whenever I tell my parents they just shrug it off. She also sometimes yells at me even if I politely ask her a question or a simple ‘how is your day?’ And I will admit sometimes I yell back. But it’s also what my parents say whenever I ask them to please do something because I feel like she is treating me like shit, they say ‘Well what do you want us to do?’ And they tone that they say it in not an actual nice tone of voice. My patient has began to run thin with her and her actions and words, and I feel like I am being left to rot by my parents. I just don’t understand why my sister is constantly being so mean to me all the time and nothing is being done about it, and no I can’t ignore because that’s not how it works for my brain. So I am the A-hole, for feeling this way?
Edit, the bot said I need a reason to show on why I might be the A-Hole so here is why I might be, I recently told my mom about another thing that my sister said/did, and when my mom asked ‘well what do you want to be done about it?’ I blew up on here, I started crying, and I told her ‘that isn’t my job to decide though!’
Also I forgot to add that part because I didn’t think it was important, but now I see that it is.
So I am the a-hole?
This isn’t for Reddit. Talk to an adult in your life. Maybe a, teacher, counselor, or extended family member.
Sorry
Don’t be sorry. I know it’s hard dealing with that sort of stuff. I think you should find a grandparent, Aunt, Uncle or even school counselor/trusted teacher to let them know how things are at home. Individual counseling at school could maybe help. I wish you well and sorry for what you’re dealing with.
I will, thank you, that makes me feel a bit better
You’re welcome hon. I hope you can get things better until you’re able to leave voluntarily.
No don’t be sorry. I’m pretty sure the person who said, “this isn’t for reddit” just meant you deserve actual in person support from someone in a position to properly help you.
I don’t think you are at fault here. I think a guidance teacher or social worker would be best placed to help. You could maybe request family counselling or mediation to talk to your parents and let them know how you really feel.
Thank you, sometimes I don’t understand what people mean sometimes, but thank you for explaining it better to me!
NTA, it’s your parents job to parent and that means making you feel safe and guiding her on how to interact with others and they’re failing both. I’m sorry. maybe you could show them this post (or write/say something similar) to express how it’s affecting you
NTA
This sounds a lot like what my younger sister put me through. She had undiagnosed schizophrenia at the time and the voices kept telling her I was evil, that I was calling her ugly and worthless, etc. So she’d take so much anger out on me. One time she woke me up at 2am to scream at me for turning off the light when she liked it on (I didn’t touch the light), I shouted back at her and she left the room. The door, because of the open window and it’s made of thin material, blew closed behind her. She opened the door and accused me of slamming it on her which started another fight. She really thought I had managed to leap off the bed and was able to fun across the room in the one split second it took for the door to slam behind her..I have a lot more stories but I’ll leave it at that.
Needless to say it got to the point where it was flat out abusing me and my mom never cared, just told me to ‘ignore’ her. One day she lost it on everyone and we had no choice but to call an ambulance. That’s how we found out she was schizophrenic.
NTA, but your parents sure as hell are.
NTA. Are saying your sister literally has the mental capacity of a 6 year old? If so, then I guess she isn’t being too terrible for her intellect.
Then it really becomes an issue of lack of parenting. They should be stepping in to try to get your sister to treat you with more kindness. Sounds like a tough situation. Good luck!
NTA – but talk to a counselor at school or a trusted adult in your life. Even children with the mind of a 6 year old should be parented, and not allowed to treat their siblings like crap.
Your parents need to remember their job is to raise ALL of their children to the best of their ability, not to allow one child to make one miserable because of issues. It would be one thing if they were trying to help and you were expecting hearts stars and unicorns out of life, but you’re literally asking for less than the bare minimum and they’re shrugging you off, and that’s not ok.
NTA. Your parents are abandoning their responsibilities. They obviously don’t want the trouble of confronting your sister, thus leaving you to cope on your own. Do you have a counselor at your school, or a teacher you can trust? I strongly advise you to talk to a responsible adult who can offer you suggestions on how to cope. They may also feel your situation merits official action, and file a report with CPS.
You haven’t mentioned if you have any close family. Would it be an option to live with grandparents or an aunt or uncle? You shouldn’t have to live in misery for the remainder of your teenage years. Living in a calm, orderly home for the remainder of your high school years would be a huge benefit, emotionally and scholasticallly.