To preface this is a childhood friend who was my neighbor growing. Our friendship has fluctuated over the years. We’re not super close now but still in touch and hangout a few times.
A few years ago she asked if she could borrow some money and would pay me back. Due to the situation I loaned her the money. Of course I never got paid back. Over the years she’s reached out asking me for money again and I’ve always said no since but tried to support her in other ways. I can’t give you her full life story but she’s gone through some difficult things and has had a lot of chaos in her life not always caused by her so I do feel for her.
I just got a text from my mom, telling me she reached out to my mom asking for $2,800 because her car repo’d and her sister, who has issues with drugs is in the hospital. She told my mom that she texted me but I didn’t respond which is a lie. My mom’s not going to give her any money but my mom is empathic and does feel bad about the situation.
I want to confront her about asking my mom this because I feel like it was very inappropriate. Tonight might not be the best night but I feel like I can’t not address this.
YWNBTA . At the same time, it would be nicer for you to go in to the conversation with empathy rather than anger. And your post does sound a little angry. Telling your friend that that’s just not something she can do is fine. And offering your continued support in non-monetary ways at the same time would be a nice cushion. Going in guns blazing for bidding her from asking your mom for money would probably be overkill.
NTA
Your “friend” lies to your mother to try to get mk ey from her while still owing money to you from a previous loan, which you will likely never see so I would be making it clear that they have no right to approach your mother for money.
Id also explain past interactions to your mother, that they lied to her about you not replying, that you had said no because she still owed money from years previously and that while your mother can do what she wants with her own money, that you recommend she doesn’t loan her any money if asked.
NTA.
Friend probably lied about texting you because she knew you wouldn’t give her money. Financial problems are tough, but you shouldn’t feel guilty for not letting other people drag you into theirs. Or for protecting your mom from it.
NTA, your friend is majorly overstepping and lying to your mom as well saying they contacted you first when they did not. Say something, especially if you think your mom might ever be caught in an overly empathetic place and give them a hand out. Your friend has already stolen from you by borrowing money and not paying it back, don’t give them the opportunity to try and do it to your mom as well.
Not the A-hole bc she only has you around to ask for money, and when you stopped, she leeched onto ur mom.
NTA. The fact this woman lied to your mother shows her quest for money has already overridden moral/societal conventions. That indicates to me she is becoming desperate, and may escalate her efforts to get money from your family. I think you’d be within your rights to tell her not to contact your family for money again. Since she’s been asking for money over a period of years, it appears she hasn’t made a sincere effort to overcome her issues.
NTA – Draw that line. Make sure she doesn’t cross it.
She sounds like a drug addict. I’d just distance myself until you aren’t friends anymore. Look, lots of people have had a shitty life. There are still some people who survived the concentration camps or have seen genocide in their countries. That’s not an excuse to be a f-up. Your friend needs to get their ish together and you should not enable them. Tell your mom to block her number. You can’t help a person that won’t help themselves.