Girlfriends mother didn’t mention about roaches
During the month of December, my (28m) girlfriend (32f) decided we should move to her mothers 2 family house (upstairs) because my gf’s mother decided she wanted to move to a different state to be with my gf’s sister who has 3 kids. Obviously it was a great decision in our heads because we would paying 200$ more in rent for 2 more bed rooms, fenced yard, driveway, balcony, and pool…. The first day we went to go check out the place I was in awe due to the way they left the place, dirty. Baseboard was literally hanging off the wall because none of the screws were drilled into studs, cracked tile in the kitchen, grease all over the fridge, old food in the cabinets, and so much more…. So after the 3rd day of pretty much cleaning up after my gf’s mom and her alcoholic boyfriend, my girlfriend cries to me from the kitchen to help her kill a bug…. When I arrived I opened the lights and spotted the bug which happened to be a German roach. At this point I was already annoyed from cleaning up after grown adults and now I’m livid because I can’t believe there was roaches in the house.
We called an exterminator to come out for an inspection and low and behold, he found roaches behind the fridge, in the bottom cabinets, and most infuriating of all… in the coffee machine that my gf’s father made coffee for us the first day we arrived…. A dead roach and eggs were literally next to where you put the filter for coffee grounds in. I was absolutely livid finding this out. My gf calls her mother and tells her what we found and magically, my gf’s mother starts remembering that she did find one roach she thought was just a traveler a couple months ago…….
So after everything that happened I decided that we will not be moving into my gf’s mother apartment because I didn’t sign up for this and this is too much stress especially during the holidays. So now my gf’s family are calling me an ungrateful AH because we’re screwing my gf’s mother over on money. Mind you they wanted us to pay for the exterminator and to clean and fix the apartment when we’re just renting the home from my gf’s mother.
Luckily our apartment we were staying at before allowed us to renew the lease and were able to stay at our current place. Also we got very lucky not bringing any furniture to the “new” place. So my gf’s mom is still demanding money from us for rent even though the official move in date was for January, we decided not to move there a week before January happened.
How tf did you forget you saw a roach before having us move in… I’m extremely annoyed and I don’t think it’s fair that my girlfriend and I still have to pay one month rent for a place we’re not even moving into because of undisclosed information.
Edit: my girlfriend hasn’t lived at her mothers house in years, she moved out right after HS. Also, we didn’t even know we wanted to move into the home until 3 weeks before January because that’s when her mother mentioned to us about moving into. Her mother didn’t move to her new place in a different state until a week before Christmas. We took the chance with a minimal window out of trust which backfired heavily
Edit 2: no contracts were signed.
NTA – seriously effing ewwww. You handled it so much nicer than i would have.
What’s really making me angry is the fact that they’re taking it lightly and saying it’s not that big of a deal… they might be okay living with roaches but I’m not. I have a cat I love to death and god forbid anything happens to her. Also if there is roaches then there’s probably more BS my gf and I are gonna find. We wanted to knock down a part of the living room wall for more space but thinking about it now, we were probably gonna find mold or even more roaches…
It’s always the people in the wrong who claim “it’s not a big deal”
NTA I would seriously reconsider this relationship depending on how my partner reacts to her family’s disgusting and shady behavior, not really a family I would want to marry into and all that.. But some people turn out great despite their families so hopefully your gf is one of those..
NTA, people are entitled to their own taste and opinions, don’t let others tell you what’s good for you or not
Yechhhh. NTA, but your girlfriend’s mother centainly is.
INFO: Did you sign a contract? If so, why are you not making the mother pay for the exterminator if she’s the landlord?
If you didn’t sign a contract, you also owe no money.
NTA – I would absolutely stay far away. German roaches are so hard to get rid of and they will travel in things as well. Even if you dont think they can get into something, they can and they hide. I have serious trauma from growing up with them in my home as a child.
Do not give your gf’s mother money either. They shouldn’t have left it a mess like that, just trying to take advantage because they are family. It likely would have caused other issues as well if that’s how it was going to start. Very rocky foundation to begin with is a seriously bad sign.
Thankfully you caught it before it was too late and you guys got stuck into a really bad situation that you would have been stuck in for the foreseeable future.
They can find other renters and hopefully people who are not family that they think they can take advantage of.
NTA. Ew, roach motel! You made the right choice.
NTA
She can rent the place for fair market value to a stranger. Oh wait. She can’t because it’s a filthy dump. Renting to family means getting around having to clean and fix up the place.
This is a her problem.
NTA… roaches will get inside all of your electronics
NTA. That is not a clean or good place to live, and the fact that they knew and left it for you is even worse.
A lot of people complain about roaches, but depending where you live, you really can’t avoid them, just keep them to a minimum. Where I live, if you have an apartment or a house, you have SOME roaches, they’re endemic and only by treating your house/apt can you keep them under control. My exterminator says if you see one, there’s a thousand more….so try to keep the numbers down. But a roach in a coffee pot? Yuck…NTA.
Hoarder vibes