I (East Asian 34f) introduced my boyfriend (south asian 32m) to my extended family for the first time. It was a family gathering at my cousin’s home. In my family it’s not really normal for someone to command someone to do something, as opposed to asking if they can tell you where something is, so you can do it. Unless you’re an elder talking to a kid, and even then they still don’t instruct you, unless you were their own kid.
That said, not too long after being there, my boyfriend said to my cousin (31f), whose home we were in as guests, “hey, can you make me coffee”. This particular cousin is a very agreeable compliant person compared to my other cousins (you can just tell which cousins are more of a pushover and approachable than others), so she said sure okay. But I was just in shock. Myself and parents don’t even request my cousins to do anything, again, unless it’s to show us where things are and if it’s okay if we x,y,z.
I told him that was poor mannerism/inappropriate what he did. And he can’t tell my cousin to do soemthing for him, upon just having met her, in their own home. It doesn’t matter if he said it nicely, but this is literally his first time meeting them. He won’t die without coffee. At the very least, he could’ve asked me if there was coffee available so I can go see.
He got upset and told me I’m being dramatic and he sees no problem in what he did. At that point, I was confused with what he did AND I was confused with his response to me. Injist couldn’t imagine myself, or anyone for that matter, being a guest in someone’s home and telling them to make me something. Especially not an in law.
AITAH?
NTA that’s super awkward and honestly pretty rude, especially as a first impression
Like asking a host where the bathroom is? Normal. Telling them to make you coffee when you literally just met them? Yikes
So… I’m not a crazy drama queen? That was basically the response from him: “you’re the problem, and always blaming me for everything. I’m just always wrong.”