When my wife was in high school her dad bought her an electric piano. We have the receipt from guitar center, in her name. When she went off to college 9 years ago she couldn’t take it to the dorms, so she left it behind at her mom’s house. Her sister was learning to play, so she let her continue to use it, even as we were moving in together and getting married and staying life together. We had no real need for a piano at the time. Her sister, not asking us, took the piano from her mom’s house with her when she got married and moved in with her husband. We didn’t make a deal about it–she was playing it more than we would’ve at the time.
We recently have started playing in a band with some friends, and my wife is going to be the keyboardist. Suddenly she needs a piano at home for practice, and I remind her that she has one. She asks her sister if she could return the piano and is flatly told no, that it doesn’t belong to her anymore. We offered her the chance to buy it out… Her husband is an engineer and they have plenty of money. We even offered a compromise as if the piano was shared between them where they would only buy out our half of it. She declined and said we were extorting them.
My wife has never been anything but selfless for her sister–she’s spent hundreds throwing her birthday parties, bridal showers, and was currently planning and preparing to host her sister’s baby shower (while dealing with her own infertility). Their apartment is literally furnished with couches and bookshelves we gave them for free, never asking for anything. But now we are labeled greedy and the relationship is essentially over.
We are planning to take them to small claims court for the value of the piano, so at least we can use it to buy a different one. It’s about more than the money at this point… It’s about respect and not letting my wife be taken advantage of. She’s done being the only one in her family who constantly gives in to keep the peace.
Are we the assholes?
YTA. I feel like if it’s bought by the father, then it could have been for both his daughters and whoever uses it more. It sounds like it’s been the sister’s piano for years now. I mean 9 years? From the sister’s perspective, it could be that you all no longer wanted that piano so she took it.
Yta. Your wife clearly abandoned this gift many many years ago and essentially had given it to her sister. Also receipts don’t get a name on them so idk what that’s about. And if you have given so much to your sil that her entire apartment has been furnished by you and you have paid for all of her major life milestones, then don’t you have enough money to just go buy a new keyboard?!?! Why would you potentially destroy a relationship between sisters over this?
It’s crazy that you think you are not the asshole.
I get that its the principle of the thing now. But do you really want to take a family member to court? Over a 10+ year old piano?
This is really going to cause a rift, and its going to make every gathering awkward forever.
I suggest you let the piano go, and impress on your wife to stop being the giving tree.
Go shopping, buy a new piano and move on.
after 9 years? YTA
ESH. Why would anyone decide to tear a family apart over this? SIL is an AH for refusing so adamantly- because she probably knows darn well that it was originally her sister’s piano and not a family item (unless that is not true). You and your wife are AHs because after nine years it seems a bit much to ask for it back unless there were regular conversations over the years that wife would be wanting it back soon. If you liked SIL enough to spend all that money on her over the years, you should like her enough to drop this.
YTA.
First, this wasn’t really your fight to lead. It’s between two sisters, but you escalated it to legal action. That alone shifts it from a family disagreement into something aggressive and transactional.
Second, you don’t get to retroactively redefine generosity. The piano was left there for years..not weeks, not months – YEARS. During that time, your wife made zero indication it was a temporary arrangement. No boundaries, no conditions, no “I’ll want this back someday.” At some point, that stops looking like storage and starts looking like a handover. You can’t act generous when it’s convenient, then reclaim ownership the moment it becomes useful again. That’s not generosity.
Also, let’s be honest about usage. Your wife didn’t need it for nearly a decade. Her sister did. She practiced on it, built familiarity with it, and integrated it into her life. Instruments aren’t mere objects especially something like a piano. There’s muscle memory, emotional attachment, and routine tied to it. From her side, this isn’t “returning an item,” it’s losing something she’s been using as her own for years.
And the buyback offer? That probably felt insulting, not fair. She already said No and you offered money? Im guessing it was as never about money to her. Imagine being told something you’ve used frequently for years is suddenly “half someone else’s” and now you need to pay to keep it. Of course she pushed back.
Lastly, going to court over this doesn’t read as “standing up for yourselves.” It reads as turning a long-standing informal family arrangement into a legal dispute because suddenly you decided it was time her sister showed some gratitude.
YTA. This feels pretty petty over a ***9 year old*** instrument that’s been collecting dust. Even if you win the civil suit, the amount you recover will probably be less than the cost of simply replacing it, especially once you factor in legal fees.
Judge Judy would ask you if it is really worth it to take her to small claims after all this time. How much do you think it’s worth? Not to mention the rest of the family taking sides (because they will).
Sure, you can sue her for it, which more than likely you will get back because of the receipt (don’t think she can sue for storage fees because you left it at your Mom’s place and she took it when she got married), but I would think long and hard about this on the effects on the dynamic of the family. Just stop the freebies. End of story. No need to explain yourself, just stop. If anyone asks, say its personal, and put the ball in their court and ask them to do the shower (this will shut them up real quick).
So she left it and now wants it back all these years later? Go buy another one. You don’t get to just “take it back” YTA
YTA. Court won’t give you the purchase price of the electric piano, only depreciated value. You can check the IRS website for depreciation schedules, but I’d guess that instrument is fully depreciated now and essentially worthless. Plus, you let her keep the instrument after she moved it to her marital home, an argument can be made that your wife gave the piano to her sister. Are the in laws being kinda mean and thoughtless, of course. But you’re nuts to think they owe you anything close to the original purchase price.
Yta. Discarded property from 9 years ago seems a strange hill to die on.
YTA. It hasn’t been your wife’s piano in years. She gave it away.
You have money to take her to court and waste lawyers fees, but not buy a second hand one? Lol
Entitled little shits.
YTA – we’re talking about a 10+ year-old electric keyboard. I hope they counter sue for storage costs.