backstory: my partner and i live with his mother in her house. she has been blaming us for taking all of her food and her things, we have our own fridge and buy all of our own clothes and groceries.
she for months has been saying that my partner and i have been taking all of her food and eating it. (she’s always home and would notice if we did this)
it’s been going on for months.
fast forward to today: she texted me while him and i were on vacation and blew up over some cookies that were in the cupboard that him and i didn’t know anything about.
she didn’t believe that we didn’t take them and she didn’t believe that we had used our own money to buy snacks for the road. i then told her that she needs to stop blaming us for taking everything and ask her other children or boyfriend about it since i know for sure it’s not us. and it’s not fair that all the blame gets put on us when we are barely home and are always working.
she BLEW up and i mean it got ugly. she told me that i’m disrespectful and i need to check myself. she also told me i need to leave her house when we get back for putting all the blame on her children and shaming them.
Mind you. partner and i pay her rent. i give her $600 a month and he gives her $400. I found out recently her rent isn’t even $800. so we both pay her a boat load of money and i’ve been living there for long enough i’m covered under renters rights (we signed a lease with her)
she also was upset the other day about us going on vacation because it’s not fair to her at all, and we should be bringing her kids and her. and that she doesn’t know where we got the money to go..
so i’m just wondering. is what i said wrong? did i overstep? AITAH?
EDIT: We are trying to look for an apartment to move out but everywhere is so expensive we wouldn’t be able to live comfortably at all.
We planned this vacation a year and a half ago, because we started arguing and thought it may be about her. so this was our way of seeing if us being away and alone was going to be the same as us being around her all of the time. At the time we planned it I was not living at her house but I would go over there almost every day.
Also this vacation cost us maybe $500 dollars and our “road trip snacks” we got from the dollar store for under $15.
EDIT 2: I didn’t include her age (sorry) she’s 45, this isn’t dementia/new behaviour, she has been acting like this my partners whole life.
Partner and I are 24 & 25, we have put together a savings and we signed a contract at the bank stating if we split up we both get half, both of us also have to be present for withdrawals, so we are trying to find a place to move out at it’s just saving the money and being able to afford first and last
NTA,but it’s time to move out. Your MIL is making a profit off you being there while making your life miserable.
It is likely that she may have an early onset dementia, or has she as always been kooky? If you can find a new place to live, then get out asap. NTA
Do you think she has early dementia?
NTA and I think you already know that. The one thing she was right about is that you *do* need to move out, because you will not have peace living with her. Until then, get a camera in the kitchen and prove to her you’re not the ones taking her shit. Of course, she will probably just find something else to be mad at you about.
NTA. But if it was me, I would start looking for another place to live. This sounds very toxic.
Move out already. Why put up with her? You’re supporting her at this point. Let her sink.
>You’re supporting her at this point.
MIL is definitely short sigted with kicking OP out considering she is getting free rent and a discount on utilities with how much OP and partner are paying.
OP, you two need to get your own place, move out, and stop sending her money, I guarantee she will try and up your rent since she is now complaining “how do you have money for a vacation”.
She is already made it clear that she doesnt want you two saving money to move out, her intentions are to keep you there so she can verbally abuse and bully you.
You two need to put some space as soon as possible
Say “ok” and find a place on your own. And both of you bl9ck her for the remainder of your vacation.
NTA. Just move out as soon as you can, your peace is worth more than whatever renters rights you have at MIL house.
If you can pay her rent, you can pay your own. You wouldn’t have to put up with her if you move out. The best thing for you would be to get out of her house ASAP.
NTA. You didn’t mention her age, but paranoia over things being stolen is a huge red flag for dementia. Get her to her doctor and tell the doc your concerns. You may need to stay there to make sure she is safe. Good luck.
I bet the tax man would be interested to know if she’s legally claiming the rent you give her on taxes.if this whole thing blows up farther and court is involved then she might shoot herself in the foot. Might want to give a heads up to her so she can pump those breaks now.
I’d rather live uncomfortably, than live with MIL.
NTA & break the lease. Talk to a lawyer, break the lease, get TF out of there NOW.