My husband and his brothers purchased a home about a year and a half ago. My husband is not on the deed , their mother refinanced her home & my husband was able to take out a heloc which is then used on the repairs of the new home. The previous owner had initially told my husband and his brothers that they can have the property vacated or the tenants on the very top floor can remain the property … in which they kept the tenants on the very top floor.
Over the past year or so my husband and I have been dealing with numerous issues regarding the basement that we did not expect.
The basement ended up flooding , we have black mold in our bathroom and outside of our bathroom , we’ve had continuous leaks , We have heating issues , insect issues , our bathroom and bedroom had to be dug up multiple times , plumbing issues etc..
My husband’s brother moved in on the middle floor and my husband asked for the very top floor because we were tired of dealing with issues in the basement . We also made it know that we should not evict the tenants on the top floor and if anything we can move off the property and live elsewhere .. my husbands mother said she feels disrespected , and it feels like a threat to her when we say stuff like that because she bought this home for her sons etc .. my husband is 28 years old .
A couple days ago she decided my husband and his brothers should give the tenants 90 day notice to leave since my husband asked for the upstairs. They all came up with a plan about how they will move about the situation and let the tenants on the top floor know what’s going on .
Minutes before the interaction my husbands mom calls him and claims she feels bad , she doesn’t want them to leave because they are good people , and about how my husband put certain “thoughts” into her head about them leaving.
My husbands brother then tells my husband that “he is the blame for displacing a family” and that “your wife influences your decisions” in which I felt extremely disrespected because I have no say in the home , my name is not on the deed , if they did not want to tell the tenants to leave why did they go along with it for so long? And why am I now getting the bruit force of it ?
NTA
The biggest problem is that your husband is a sucker.
Spending a bunch of money on a house where you aren’t on the deed and don’t even live there is plain dumb.
Don’t give them another cent. You’re not getting your money back, but you need to immediately cut your losses.
They do live there, in the basement, but he’s still a sucker because they’re basically tenants paying for the upkeep of a building they have no ownership stake in at all.
Hmm, info needed. First you said “My husband and his brothers purchased a home about a year and a half ago. My husband is not on the deed.” and then you said “she bought this home for her sons”. Who actually owns the home and who is on the deed?
INFO: when did you tell the MIL that there is something wrong with her?
NTA, it sounds like a very emeshed family that does not know how to appropriately communicate with each other. if your husband does not stand up for you here, he is failing u as a partner.
NTA
I love how “your wife influences your decisions” is supposed to be a dig coming from a guy who lives in a house that mommy bought for him.
Your wife should influence your decisions it’s called a partnership. Mommy should not hold the same influence.
Tell him he can live in the moldy basement and you’ll take the middle floor then.
I’m not sure what’s happening here. Your husband took out a loan to repair a building he has no legal rights to? I don’t know if your explanation is unclear, your understanding is unclear or what is going on. My suspicion is you and your husband are getting scapegoated.
INFO: Why did your husband contribute to a home if he’s not on the deed? You’re basically just tenants, in which case you can go live somewhere more comfortable and less dramatic.
INFO: How was your husband able to get a HELOC if he is not on the deed? You have to be a homeowner to get a HELOC, yeah?
Exactly what I was thinking, something isn’t adding up here.
You already posted this story. If you’re husband isn’t in the deed, he’s not an owner and he’s getting zero value from “ownership.”
ESH. This was a stupid idea to begin with, you never should have agreed to it. Please move out.
Esh. Did you and your husband both actually have to write posts curious if you’re assholes for not wanting to live in squalor and wanting the people who are actually legally tied to the property to do something?
Move out. These people suck and they dont care about you or your husband. You’re just the suckers who are doing the work they dont want to do.
Whos paying mortgage. Whos paying rent. Who owns what.
Start with basic finance and leave out the other story portion