So I’m 20 F and I’ve been on my driving journey for a year and a half now learning how to drive and recently I passed my driving test, yay! However I’m having problems with my family ‘Claiming’ my car.
So going back two months my mum’s car broke down and she ended up having to scrap it, ever since she’s been driving my grandmas car around, mainly to work and my dad had to drop me off at work, pick me up as well as my other siblings. I got a bit sick of it and I knew I was going to pass my test soon so I wanted to buy a cheap little car for a beginner which I had fully saved for myself and had been looking for.
Finally I found the perfect first little car around the end of December and drove an hour to look at it, buying it later that afternoon, it was a really good deal for the miles and the make of the car so I knew I was super lucky and the previous owner had replaced some parts making it brand new so I was really happy.
After December I picked it up with my dad and came home and my grandma started saying "Oh thank god we really needed that car, I’ll have to drive it" which is 100% fine I knew when I brought it I obviously wouldn’t drive it yet apart from practicing for my test. My family needed it and that was fine but then she started saying, "I’ll have to claim it Tuesday and Friday I need it and for the mornings and afternoons to pick up your siblings from school" I found it a bit annoying because she was saying this just as I walked in the door and got extremely frustrated because even thought I knew we were struggling and I didn’t mind her using it I wanted to experience it for myself and she has a habit of dirtying cars so I was nervous about it.
She then got mad at me and we got in a little argument, I just told her I wanted her to keep it clean and don’t get it muddy when she has her friends dog in there and she said I had to live with it. I said "Don’t mess it up I just want it clean" and she basically said "That’s life" I got so angry because, yes it is but I just got the car, even now to this day it is dirty.
Cut to now and I have passed my driving test as I said at the start and I’m really excited I can finally have freedom to drive and explore!! Or so I thought…
I was planning to take myself alone to the shopping mall and have a drive to feel more comfortable in my car and my grandma said she needed to it go to her friends house for tea. I said I wanted to drive and she kept bumbarding me with questions and that she was taking her own car and I’d still have mine but I’d have to take my mum places if she wanted to go out, I just said okay and accepted that I wasn’t going to mall and i could just drive somewhere else and chill in a coffee shop but no.
I woke up the morning of my plans and my grandma came in my room saying "I’m taking your car I’ll be back by 1pm" I asked why she was taking mine and not hers and she said "Your mom wanted to use my car to go out for a coffee" I genuinely cried after she left because I feel like I don’t own the car anymore, and I have no right to drive it.
NTA. You paid for it. Your name on registration. Your car. Lock the keys away. Yes they will moan, so expect that. Remember, taking a car without the owners consent is a crime.
A lockbox would be good.
Nta. You bought and paid for the car so it’s yours. Is it insured? Was it insured before you got your license? Who is paying the insurance?
Personally I would just get up and out of the house everyday before my mother or grandmother had a chance to take it.
I fully own and pay for the insurance, I just added grandma and dad to make it cheaper for me
Remove grandma from your insurance , take back all your keys for the car. tell your mom to get herself a car and say no to your grandma. Period
NTA
NTA. You saved and paid for the car. It’s yours. Take away the keys and for the next little while don’t let anyone take it. They will try to push your boundaries.
Stop leaving the keys accessible. Say no. No is a complete sentence.
NTA. Who is on your insurance and paying for it? Is anyone else paying for gas and upkeep?
Personally I’d hide the keys from anyone else unless they show some respect for my property or pay me back for half of what I paid for it. UpdateMe
Sucks that Theo whole family is taking ownership of your car. When do you plan on moving out? That’s the only way your own car will be yours. NTA for telling all of them no.
NTA. OMGosh. Your family is a bunch is selfish jerks. You are a 20 yo adult. Inform ALL family members this is YOUR car. You saved money and bought it yourself and you will be driving it all the time now. And the fact that your mom already dirtied it up is so asshole. Check all of them please and say NO then hide those keys. 🔑
NTA.
Hide the keys or lock them up.
It’s one thing to let them borrow it occasionally but it’s another thing for them to demand it.
Things like petrol, insurance can really start to add up if there are many people using a car.
Hey if you bought the car with your own money that you saved, you have to make this clear to everyone. If you are not comfortable saying this to your grandmother then discuss it with your parents. i assume grandma lives with your family, or you guys all live at grandmas.
Stop giving them the keys?! Time to put on your big girl pants.
The head of this problem is your mother taking over your grandmother’s car. That is wrong. Your mother needs to replace her own scrapped car and stop acting as if your grandmother’s car is her own.
Once that happens, your grandmother will have no need of yours.