Hey, guys I wanted advice regarding my roommate. So, recently I’ve gotten a new roommate due to my other roommate studying aboard. This current roommate we’ve been having issues. So, she moved in January 12th and on the second day. I walked into the dorm and found 5 men in my room who I didn’t know with her and my suite mates she didn’t let me know. We also have a living room…. and this was around 10:00pm. I had to get dressed and take shower. I was practically in the living room and waited until 11:00pm to finally kick them out. The second time she locked the door without letting me know, and then I had a conversation about the issues that’s been going on and she agreed to let me know when people would come over. Recently, yesterday coming back from work. Her and her boyfriend were in the room and she didn’t let me know. I needed to change and take a shower. I was grabbing my clothes thinking they would get out but they were still in there. I had to grab my underwear in front of him and get changed in the bathroom. I talked to her about over text. She apologized but then didn’t want to have a conversation in person because she said “I don’t think we need further discussion” I went to the RA and which she is going to talk to the supervisor. I just wanted to know if I’m tripping
Nta. You’ve asked for respect and boundaries and she’s ignoring them.
You’re tripping.
Your roommate is allowed to have guests over. You should talk to her about setting up more rules about this.
NAH
If you read I asked her to communicate
And I’m saying maybe you need more than just her letting you know when somebody’s coming over. I dunno.
You can’t kick her out for this though.
NTA if you have a living room your roommate should not be entertaining guests in your private (shared?) bedroom.
Need more INFO. When you say they were “in the room”, what do you mean? It sounds like you guys have a suite style or apartment style dorm (living room, bathroom, etc). I see that in the first incident they were in your room (which is absolutely wild if you are indeed in appt style housing), but in the other incidents were they still in your room? Or in a common space (living room, kitchen, etc)?
In the room
When there are no pre-established boundaries, there is only chaos.
ESH
That’s true
NTA
NTA. You gave her plenty of opportunities for discussion before you went to the RA. She kept steamrolling your boundaries. You can’t keep being a doormat. Your dorm room should be your safe space. Hopefully, you will be assigned a more peaceful roommate.
NTA – your roommate is clearly inconsiderate and crossing boundaries, but the fact she is also unwilling to communicate in person shows you made the right choice in contacting the supervisor.
NTA. You absolutely must have somewhere private to go in your dorm if she has company. Normally this would be your bedroom. If you have a shared bedroom, then her and her guests go in the living room and the bedroom becomes your private space for the duration of their visit.