My mom has had a trip planned, a cruise, during my(21f) husbands(26m) birthday for all of us for about 6 months. everything is paid for, etc. About a month ago there was a dispute between my mom and husband, about something i did. My husband during this ended up asking my mom if she was a “stupid b\*tch” and my mom got very angry and didn’t want to speak to him for a long time. during this time i was considering divorcing him, and my mom canceled his cruise ticket. now we have made up kind of, and if i go in the cruise my husband will be mad, but my mom can’t get her money back so if i cancel to be with him she will also be mad. AITAH if i still go in the cruise during his birthday?
You are asking the wrong question here.
NTA. I don’t know your marriage but I do remember being married at 21 and missing out on paid vacations with my family. Take the cruise. Go on the vacation. Free trips don’t come along often (at least not in my world), might give you time to think about your marriage (or not).
Depending on what the argument was about also can determine how important you not going on the trip is to your husband. He shouldn’t have called your mom names, but if your mom was “against” you and he was in your corner- then yea going on this trip would signal to your husband you’ll put him second.
it was my mom defending me more so but thanks for your input
If your mom defended you, I would go on the cruise with her. It is your husband’s fault his ticket got canceled. I would cancel the ticket, too, of anyone who called me a stupid b*tch. NTA
*Update: I saw in another comment that he was calling you names. This man disrespected you and then your mom for defending you. Missing out on the trip is just him reaping what he sowed with his shitty behavior. NTA, and I think you should put divorce back on the table.
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Info: what specifically was the original fight about?
If the fight between your mother and husband was two sided (i.e. they were both in the wrong to be getting so angry) then it was a bit rubbish of her to cancel his ticket. If you support your husband on this front, you shouldn’t go on the cruise.
It sounds like you’re going to always choose your mum over your spouse though so if your husband leaves you over this, it isn’t just the cruise that’s the problem.
I’m leaning on YTA but additional info might change this.
Read other posts by OP
Woooowwwww…..
NTA but yes, asking the wrong question here…
he called your mum a dumb bishhh and you’re still with him?? YTA for that alone.
So typically you mostly pay by the cabin on a cruise… so getting your husband back into the cruise should be cheap.
If the relationship is worth saving, if your husband is really capable of change, then he’ll be ok with you taking the trip. If not, then you still take the trip but don’t come home to the husband.
Based on the post history your NTA. if you decide to go and leave him.
Yta to yourself for forgiving and in a better place “kind of”, forgiving an abuser who says they are sorry it wont happen again. But then it does. It will just keep getting worse, till your physically harmed or worse.
youve written that he got mad at your for burning bread.
that he starred dating you when you were 19 and he was 23. Then married you somewhere in between then and now.
Eta 6 months after meeting him so he could stay in the country girl get rid of him. You didnt know him enough. He just showed you who he was to get what he wanted now that hes here he thinks he can do as he wants and harm you. (They made a degrassi episode about stuff like this)
Girl you need to get help and run.
NTA he sucks
Looking back at your post history, why are you with this person? NTA for going on a cruise with your mom but ywba to yourself if you don’t take that time to seriously look at your relationship & decide if this is how you want to live your life. You are very young & have a whole lot of life ahead of you.