Someone had made a post about if size matters. I posted about the implant that I had gotten. I replied to some people then the original poster deleted their message and that killed any further conversation. If anyone had/has questions that did not get answered when it was deleted, you can ask me here.
How did the surgery go? What was your starting length/girth? What is it now? Any issues with erections and having an orgasm? Any scars? Loss of sensation?
I would say before the prostate was removed I was normal length but never measured. When I had it removed for cancer, I lost the ability for an erection. I cannot orgasm because the prostate produces the fluid that mixes with the seed. No prostate….. I am now about 5 inches, and believe it or not there is an official way to measure it, I have the device. Scars from where they put it in from the top of the penis. My doctor did from top but most do from the bottom, longer heal time. Sensation, kind of Iike the ejacualte, it is different. Some one else asked how it worked, so check that reply.
I am sorry you had to endure that, but I am glad they have a way for you to maintain quality of life!
Do you know anyone who’s had it done with their prostate still intact and if they could ejaculate?
What did that cost and how does it work?
Accidentally answered in a post.
My husband is considering this. He also had prostate cancer.
I’m concerned because due to nerve damage a lot of his sensation is gone. I worry that more surgery will result in further loss of sensation. If he can’t feel it, what’s the point of an erection?
I’ll support whatever he wants but I’m skeptical.
I can tell you that he might be feeling less of a man because of it. There is something that having a ‘normal’ penis does for a man’s mental state. Mine was really messed up because my ex-wife stopped sex with me about 6 years in marriage because she did not think I was a ‘man’. We stayed married 26 years because I tried to do the right thing, but when she went and spent new years with another man, well that was when she said she wanted a divorce, and I got out as soon as I could (she went through 3 boyfriends in two months and want to put it back together again. NO.
Was his RALP done to spare the nerves. Mine was but I was so enlarged they damaged a lot. There are still nerves in the penis and the sensation is still there, at least for me. If you have not, go with him to the urologist and ask questions. And you do not have to answer, but would you enjoy sex with him when you can finish. It will not deflate till you want him to.
Yes, he had nerve sparing surgery and his cancer was caught very early so damage was minimal. Function returned decently well for a while. But here we are ~20 years after and gradually things have reduced a lot.
I have no interest in other men or view him as less of a man with it. Sure, I miss regular old sex, but he knows how to satisfy me in other ways. I just feel bad that I can’t reciprocate effectively.
If he wants to do it, he needs it soon. As it is not used to atrophies, what is lost cannot be gained back. They can only work with what he has left. There are things he can do to make it longer before surgery but that is hit or miss.
r/penileimplants is a forum here that both of you can ask questions in, without being judged.
Hey, I know it’s not the point of this post/thread & it’s just curiosity so don’t feel any pressure to answer…
First-off, I’m so sorry your wife was like that with you.
..Did she arrange/pressure for an open relationship to become sexually gratified after you had prostate cancer & could not perform, or did she cheat? And did she put you down by actually directly communicating to you that you were less than a man, or was it more indirect?
I just can’t wrap my head around such heartlessness for a partner especially after going through cancer like that. Tho I can understand the want for sex, it seems like she was perhaps rather horrible about her approach & timing, and overall lack of support..
Must have been heartbreaking, but now you’re better w/o her… so glad you’re in a better place!<3
No problem. We had a normal marriage till we moved back to her hometown and bought a house, about 6 years into the marriage. She then slowly stopped the sex. I think she was using the massage shower head for satisfaction but cannot prove that (she took long showers). At one point she just stopped having sex. When I got the cancer this was about 6 years into the dry spell. When I told her about it she said ‘don’t expect any sex from me’. I was discovered early and the growth rate of prostate cancer is very small. So we watched and waited. In 2021, New Year’s Eve, she said she was going to go spend New Years with a friend, I asked male or female, she said I would rather not say. When she came back she said she wanted a divorce. That was January 2022. I moved out in March (had to get finances straight), and a few months later I met my girlfriend (she actually swiped left on me). During the summer we went to urologist for a little help )at my age). He wanted to schedule another biopsy because of the time it had been since the last one. This was close to 10 years after it had been discovered. I did not want to but we did it. Report came back, it was getting aggressive, and my prostate was so large, if you lined up 100 men based on size I would have been the 10th. Christmas that year it was removed. It was then I found that I would have been 3rd in the lineup. They had to cut it in half to send it out for what ever they do.
I would say that I suspected several times when she met up with men but I could not prove it. They never lasted long. As for her saying I was not a man, yes, she used those words and she was verbally abusive to me. At one point we were going to a church and were talking to the pastor on a non-church day. There were 3 or so other members there, and our kids. We were all talking and all of a sudden she said to the pastor I was not a real man. This guy she had said was going to save our marriage now became the leader of a cult. She and him went toe to toe about this. I had never seen him mad but he felt he had to defend me. I had to take the kids outside so they did not see it. (They were 4 and 2).
And the days after the removal were dark, but the girlfriend would not let go of me. I tried to push her away, she would not go, she pulled me out of the depression, so yes I would say in a better place.
I urge you and all men to get a PSA test regularly. It measures the antigen levels produced by the prostate. They should go up gradually, if they spike you have cancer. The test is not exact, it does produce false alarms, but I would rather have a checked false alarm then unchecked cancer.
Thank you so much for answering..
What a horrible woman, I’m so glad you found an amazing a girlfriend as you have!!
I’m going to look into a PSA test…I didn’t actually know about that test, I just figured doctors felt around for enlargement with their finger at annual checkups, and if it felt enlarged maybe they would do more testing.
One more question… aside from the results of the PSA test confirming cancer, did you experience any symptoms whatsoever that made you think something was wrong?
Tricky question on cost. Without insurance around 50K US dollars. Outside of the US there are doctors who will do it much cheaper, however anyone thinking of doing this would want to have a doctor who does this high volume, Get it and get our for lack of infection. With my insurance the co-pay is $700, however if I was on Medicare there would have been no copay.
How does it work. There are two types. The one I did not get is the malleable. Two bendable pieces are put in the penis next to the spongy part that holds blood to make a man hard. You fold it up for sex, fold down for normal. Always the same size.
The one I got has 3 parts. Tubes that go where the malleable goes, a small sack with a saline solution in it lower stomach area, and a round pump that is placed in the scrotum (I now have 3 balls). When the desire for sex comes up, the bulb is pumped till penis is stiff, the fluid going into the tubes. When done, the valve on the pump is squeezed to get the liquid back in to the sack sometimes with a little squeeze to get the fluid out of the penis.
I have just had it done so I have not used it yet, 8 weeks healing time. However 3 times a day for now I have to inflate it to get it stretched. After the doctor says OK, I will have to do it once a day at least. The body will try to encapsulate the parts.
R/penileimplants is a forum that men who are thinking of having it done ask questions and men who have had it done. This is surgery of last resort, not one you would have because you want to be supper hard.
This is interesting! Thanks for sharing!