So, I’m early 50s and have sporadically played in swinger or swinger-adjacent circles to fill a gap in a sexless ltr (with partner’s consent). I recently was invited to a private gang bang (3 women, 8 guys all of whom I hadn’t met before) and, despite feeling a little flat going in I persevered. The company ranged from early 30s to around my age – though I was possibly the oldest. The people were relaxed enough and I’ve been in these environments enough in the past not to get "stage fright" so wasn’t uncomfortable there. However, I couldn’t get into it and got tired very quickly. I’d dropped a blue pill in advance but it wasn’t really working. Long story short I excused myself, left early and more than anything felt relieved to be out of there.
I’m not really cut-up about the performance fail but more about what this might mean mentally or physiologically? Performance anxiety may have crept in and upset head game – all but one dude uniformly had 8"+ girthy tools while mine’s what I’d call marginally above average but I’ve never really worried about it previously. I’m tall, with a little bit of padding befitting my age but with tone and again, not carrying a belly like some of the other gents. The younger fellas though – jesus they were like steam hammers – obviously had the time for regular gym and one bloke in particular was a damn Adonis. That said, I’ve been at other events (not recently) where younger fitter guys have bottled it and I’ve been firing on all cylinders.
Anyway, I don’t know if this is natural ageing, headspace (it’s been a hard year of family and work challenges) or something physiological? I don’t really want to rock up to the family doctor and lay this case out but I am interested in perspectives from guys who’ve experienced something similar. Part of me thinks it might be time to hang up the spurs for good and put my energy elsewhere but I’m worried how that might balance out in other areas of my life.
Don’t be swayed too much by the swinging aspects of this – I think something similar could happen to anyone in any lifestyle. I mention it because – well as a sexually active male, if I can’t enjoy an experience like \_this\_! then what the fuck?!
Stop watching porn and fapping for a bit, that shit’ll come back
Not a huge gooner though I have been in the past – I’ll do that though.
This isn’t a question I’d expect the average man to have any context with which to provide a useful answer. Surely there are better subs to ask.
ETA: That said, sounds mental more than physical if there’s no physical changes or extended time since the last time. Maybe the scene doesn’t jive for you anymore. That’s the most extrapolation I’m personally capable of.
I can’t believe people like this exist. I must live in a bubble
I’m not sure I’d be able to maintain full tilt with a 8/3 sausage to doughnut ratio either.
It was a gangbang, it was between 8/6 and 8/9 depending on what the donuts were in to.
I live in an average sized conservative town. Apparently there’s a whole community here that does it. And they’re like well established/higher ups. And then there’s my friend who’s a bartender who got an
Invite, but I’m not surprised at all.
Sorry. You’re 50, and can’t understand why you can’t fuck like a 30 year old? Can you run like a 20 year old? You’re older dude, it’s not that complicated.
Yeah obviously I get that – not expecting to perform like a 30 year old – but also not sure I’m in the grave yet so want to hear the experiences of other men who’ve experienced similar mood/energy changes around this age.
You could search the billions of books, articles, blogs about getting older. You’re asking like this is a unique thing, everyone gets older. You exercise, change diet, etc. but you can’t fight time forever.
Curious how the std testing works in all this? Or do you guys take each others word for it?
Age slows us down. It will be different ages for different people, but the time comes for everyone.
First off your guy to girl ratio is horrible. What the fuck is that? That’s a sausage party why would you go to that?
The last time I was in orgy it was more girls than guys. And I ended up alone with six women in a room. And we all came out happy.
If you’re going to swing then you probably want to stay close to people your own age and keep the ratios in mind. If you’re the 50-year-old and a room full of built 20 year olds you’re not going far
There are plenty of older swinging couples. In fact when I was swinging I and my wife was the younger couple normally one of the youngest couples if not the youngest couple in the room. Which made us very popular.
You went into it in the wrong State of mind and allowed all the other guys to get in your head
I went to a lot of swinger parties when I was young and married. I have no interest in any of that anymore. I would rather just have an amazing time with one person and maybe occasionally a extra person. But more like a rare Christmas present then