I had just gotten into a relationship and i believe that we can actually stick it out as soon as far we are compatible in every way and we both seem to like each-other very much, we are each-others worlds rn but the only thing thats been a problem so far is her alcohol addiction that she’s currently trying to recover from but just recently relapsed. I don’t know how to help her and idk how to go about this as i believe the stress i put on her to recover is what made her relapse in the first place. For extra context she is disloyal when drinking giving anyone attention as long as they can provide alcohol and it has prover problematic before almost ending our relationship. I don’t believe she actually wants to cheat i just don’t think she can make her own good choices when in that mindset. I also believe the way i handled her father’s problems as he is also a drug addict may have started or will start problems between us as when i suggested cutting him off to secure her own mental peace she adamantly argued that he’ll get better. I feel lost and i genuinely think she can be my forever as long as we push through this so any help may be appreciated.
Sorry for any spelling or grammatical mistakes i had to type out in a rush and keep hidden
If they have an addiction problem and it’s bad then I would communicate how I feel about it. If they don’t change since you don’t like it, then the relationship likely wont work out.
Beyond the early stage infatuation, what makes you feel like she is the one? Is it something genuine? Or a lack of experience? Or a saviour complex?
One absolutely inescapable and universal truth about addiction, is that you have zero bearing on it. She would have to want to overcome it. In the absence of that, you are in for an emotionally traumatic experience with someone you will never be able to fully trust, as they cannot trust themselves. Given her age, I think she could be a significant time away from changing patterns without a life changing event bottoming her out or a true desire to do it herself with appropriate support.
I think this is too much for a new relationship unless you are seeing signs you haven’t mentioned
We’ve been friends since the start of the year so we practically skipped a talking stage and only 4 or so months ago did we make it official but a time before that we both realized our deep feelings for eachother at the same time and we realized relationship or not we wanted to stay together for a while and apart of us initially talking about it and confronting it she did show interest in wanting to change but it seems she’s only doing it for me because she knows how much it hurts me at times which just doesn’t seem viable for long term recovery imo but we never have secrets from eachother