I have this crush on this guy at my work and it’s been persistent for months now which is rare for my guy. Usually I’ll find something out and it’ll fade but not this time. I’ve been trying to logic the hell out of this crush with no success. Logically, it’s a dumb crush. I don’t know him nearly that well enough, you don’t shit where you eat, it’s pure hormones, and he’s most definitely not interested.
He’s a really nice guy and says his to me and chats to me a lot and he has a cute smile. We have similar tastes in music too, and he gives me great recommendations too. I don’t want to ruin the nice co-worker relationship make him uncomfortable with my unrequited crush. At first I thought maybe he might like me too, which was a contributor as to why my crush grew. I would see him glancing at me a lot and it made me self-conscious and take note of him.
But I was wrong, he’s not really interested, he’s called me a kid like twice now and he hasn’t actually said or done anything to even hint he might want something, it’s all just me overthinking and being silly, there’s no logic to it. I’m really just a new face for him and he was clearly just being friendly which sucks. I fully recognize I shouldn’t have let this go this far, it’s a terrible idea to shit where you eat. I’ve just never felt so strongly about a guy before even though I’m 25, and I didn’t know it would get out of control so quickly. I want him out of my head and heart but I don’t know what to do. I thought about avoiding him but it feels rude, and I’m sure he’ll notice. I feel like he can already tell that I don’t engage as much with him in conversations/say hello to him as much anymore.
Please no comments about not shitting where you eat, I said that multiple times in this post. I know that, that’s exactly why I’m making this post, so I DON’T do that. Thank you.
Best thing you can do is distance yourself a bit while this crush fades. He might notice, but you need to prioritize yourself.
sounds to me like it’s time to shit where you eat
Imagine him having explosive diarrhea
Is there another kind?
You could try asking him directly or indirectly. High reward relatively low risk if he’s a chill guy. If you don’t trust he will keep his mouth closed, the best way to put out a fire is to smother it. Avoid him at all costs and redirect your mind to other places instead of thinking of him. The kid thing could be flirting. Sending mixed signals is a great way to keep someone thinking about you.
Alternatively, you can tell your body that you are focusing on the friendship and letting it take as much time as it needs to develop. That would allow you to go deeper while making sure you keep enough boundaries to not get hurt.
++ man Acting on the crush will get it out of your system one way or another.
“I’m sure he’ll notice” – I don’t see why it’s a problem though. You don’t need his validation to change yourself.
Sounds like a projection/idealization spiral especially if you don’t really know him that well. The mind often fills in gaps. When the feelings kick in I’d recommend grounding yourself by asking is this based on something I actually know about him or is this more about what I’m hoping he’s like because he seems so nice. You’d be surprised how quickly the mind fills in ambiguity with hopes and dreams in the absence of evidence on empathetic people.
Yes that might be what it is. I don’t get crushes like this, so I think my brain overcompensated and went off the deep end thinking he might feel the same because he is so kind to me
How old is he to be calling you kid is he actually out of your age range? If he’s under 30 just ask if he has a girlfriend if yes move on. If not go ahead and shoot your shot, he may also be afraid of dating coworkers so both of you are keeping distance.
You can date a coworker as long as both of you are sane and emotionally mature enough to handle a breakup without going nuclear. Lots of people have met thier husband/wife at work.
he’s 10 years older than me. I just have heard so much that it’s an absolutely horrible idea to date coworkers, and I guess I get why if it ends badly. I’m not one to go nuclear tho
Fuck it. Ask him out. Life is short.
I bet he actually likes you but is trying to hide it, a bit too well.
That’s why we can’t have nice stuff anymore 😭, shoot your shot you’ll either get what you want or the rejection will help kill your crush