27, never dated or had a girlfriend, lost virginity at 24 and had sex again at 25, both of which didn’t want to see me again.
I can barely talk to women without freezing up, and when I do, it’s basic boring small talk.
I read r/foreveralone and resonate with the posts.
I’m an okay looking guy, but I 100% believe that you need to be model level looking for avarage women on dating apps. I’ve used them for years and hardly match, nor have I met up with anyone from the apps in person.
The advice of "touch grass" doesn’t work in small towns, as the volume simply doesn’t exist. Trust me, I socliaze enough and have done for years.
Meeting women would be cool, but it’s not worth switching my life completely around for the slim chance of improving, that’s pretty dumb.
Stop projecting the need for external validation and dealing with women becomes much easier and less awkward.
They are literally just women, they aren’t spooky.
It’s ok for someone not to like you. it’s not a big deal. There are like 8 billion people in the world. Stop taking individuals so seriously.
Lost count of the amount of times I’ve said something akin to that external validation comment on Reddit today across different posts!
Totally agree. The validation issue for men is a killer. That and pecking.
Confidence is key. Just gotta practice. No other way around it. Unless you happen to find a girl equally as awkward.
Mating calls
Why didn’t they want to see you again?
I don’t know for sure, but I had my theories.
1. 24 is unfortunately kind of old to be a virgin (yes, I know that’s unpopular to say). My sex skills were crap and she declined the second date when I called her the next day.
2. I have no idea about the second, couldn’t even have a guess.
Do you know how to get to Carnegie Hall? Practice.
You also gotta do your homework. The book that helped me the most is, How to win friends and influence people.
Megaphone 📣
In order for you to flirt you need to conquer your crippling anxiety when it comes to women. If you are anxious or nervous then your ability to flirt drastically reduces cause you are not in the headspace to flirt. Flirting requires you to be relaxed and also to notice the feel-good endorphins that you get when you do talk to a girl and flirt with her.
There are philosophical and neurological ways to handle your women-anxiety.
1. Stop reading r/foreveralone. These people *actively reject* connection. Instead, follow and learn from people who have social and romantic lives slightly better than your own.
2. Go outside. Find men with girlfriends and wives. Are they all mode-level? I bet no! Ask when and how they met. Hint: Most who met 2015+ will mention online dating.
3. Pretzeling yourself to meet someone would be dumb. The difference is often small. E.g., putting more effort into your clothes and grooming, and asking women out.
4. If no luck, try therapy focused on dating. Most met I’ve met who can’t get dates have thought patterns holding them back, such as misogyny, death to dating.
“Instead, follow and learn from people who have social and romantic lives slightly better than your own”
This is not only great advice, but applies to most desired changes.
Do you drink? Liquid courage.
“I 100% believe you need to be model level looking for average women on dating apps.”
Well there’s your problem bestie. You’re just wrong lmao