I (24F) have been going on dates for about 2 months with a guy (32M) I met online. To preface, his profile said “just looking for my person”, so I assumed he was looking for a relationship. We went on like 5 dates in the first month and we didn’t sleep together, he paid for all of the dates, and gave me a lot of affirmations like “i really like you, you’re so sweet, i can’t wait to see you again” etc. Then his dad died so I gave him some space, and when we started going on dates again it was just like how it left off, so I figured things were progressing. Then we ended up sleeping together and he was like thanking me and saying how i make him happy and whatnot. So yesterday I called him and basically asked the “what are we” question. And he goes “I haven’t really thought about it, I’ve just been focusing on myself”. So I got no clarity from that call, and I tried to call him back, no answer. I texted him asking if we could talk more to clear things up, and now I haven’t heard anything from him. I saw on steam that he was playing video games last night though so it seems like he’s ignoring me. I can’t tell if he is giving me a soft no, or if he actually just hadn’t thought about it? (which seems weird since it seemed like he put in a bunch of effort at first and we were acting all couple-y). I’m just hurt he can’t at least just tell me he doesn’t want a relationship, and instead is choosing to ghost me. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
It happens with online dating, you just have to let it go and move forward. Sorry to hear this happen to you
His dad just died it sounds like. He needs to focus on himself. Also an 8 year age gap is iffy. He needs to heal. If that means distracting himself with video games, that’s fine. I’d move on. You’re both in different stages of life anyway.
If you wanted to stay together, you should to support his mental health. Losing a parent would be debilitating for me.
JFC his dad just died! Of course he’s going to focus on himself. He needs to begin to heal and go through the grieving process for a long time.
I’d just let him go. His silence is your answer.
his profile said “just looking for my person”
The amount of one night stands I’ve had where I got ghosted or ghosted the person when one or both of us had something like that in our profile is more than I can remember.
The answer to your question is yes. Move on.
I think an irritating side-effect of our instant gratification generation is that just because they download a dating app that promises “long term relationships” they expect to get exactly that with the first person they match with who also is looking for that.
Still gotta put the work in, and get hurt along the way, unless you’re really lucky. Good luck.